The Reveal

TA DAH! Sarah Palin. Okay, so maybe not the most original idea (the glasses were almost sold out), but I was excited about it anyway. I’ve been planning on it ever since McCain announced her as his running mate. It would have been a little more convincing if my most recent hair color hadn’t all washed out after only two weeks (jerks, I’m never going back to that salon), but I think I still managed to pull it off by doing and wearing the following things:

1.) Profuse Hair Teasing - something I learned how to do through careful observation while living in Idaho. Palin lived in Idaho too for a while, which is where I suspect she learned how to tease her hair. Idaho is also where she must have picked up on some other silly habits, such as saying words like “oil fillds” and giving her children really stupid names. Anyway, after teasing my hair, I curled the ends, smoothed the surface over the matted destruction, and put it all into a fancy twist up-do. Some gel into my bangs to give them that deliberately piecey look, and I was on my way.



2.) Four Words: Sarah Palin Skirt Suit. Three Words: Sarah Palin Glasses. (PS- according to a certain person that I don’t get along with too well, Sarah Palin ONLY wears red skirt suits. Sarah Palin has NEVER worn a different color of suit. SHE ONLY WEARS RED. Since I’m not wearing red, according to this person, I can’t portray Sarah Palin. Who ONLY wears red. Who never has and never will wear any color of skirt suit other than RED.)

3.) Extreme Makeup. Severe blush, ugly brownish-purple lipstick, three coats of mascara – you get the idea.




4.) Pantyhose. Can you imagine her without it? I can’t. I’ve never actually bought any before, unless you count that one unfortunate incident 12 years ago when I filled out a “redeem your free pantyhose!” mailer and sent it off without reading the fine print. My mom was obligated to buy pantyhose from them for at least another decade. Anyway, I was a little lost when I was studying my options in Walgreens, until I noticed a color choice called “Suntan”. That was it. The woman lives in Alaska for crying out loud, I’m almost positive she wears suntan colored pantyhose.

 and 5.) FLAG LAPEL PIN. I tore my house apart looking for the flag pin I’ve had since I was fourteen. AND I FOUND IT.





Jon made my day by showing up at my work party (yes, I wore this to work) dressed as McCain.

The more I think about it, the more I wish I'd added "and I approve this message" at the bottom of this nametag. I'm kicking myself. Just pretend like it's there.

Jon wandered around the party without breaking character. Began and ended sentences with “my friends”. Never raised his hands above his shoulders (even when certain games required it). Stuff like that. He's my hero. I have no clue how he dug up that Alaska baseball cap.

Bless his heart.