Thursday, January 31, 2013

January Catchup

Holy long, unplanned break from blogging. I'm not going to apologize though. I blog when I feel like it.

First things first. I got a text from my mom yesterday that read, "I hope you are nowhere near that shooting." I called to tell her that I was, in fact, near the shooting, but that I wasn't in danger and that the guy had run in the opposite direction so our office wasn't on lockdown. I'm a terrible daughter for not proactively calling, but it didn't occur to me that it would have made national news so quickly. Then I remembered that the hearings on gun control were taking place at the exact same time, so. I hardly ever get political on my blog, but, people. People. Let's be rational. Jon Stewart, as always, says it best, so I'll just go ahead and link to him. Part 1, Part 2. Post script, some idiot solicitor walked in to my office ten minutes after the shooting trying to sell crap. His opening line was, "Crazy about this shooting, huh??" So you're AWARE that someone just walked into an office three blocks away and shot a bunch of people, yet you' Not the best time to be canvassing this neighborhood, dummy. I was not nice to him.

Jon and I watched the interview with Mark Owen, one of the members of Seal Team 6, when it first aired on 60 Minutes months before Zero Dark Thirty was released, then we watched Zero Dark Thirty last week, then we watched Mark Owen's interview again. And I recommend you all do the same. Fascinating. Also, I'd been hearing garbage from garbage people about how "annoying" Jessica Chastain's character in ZDT is, so I took to Twitter wondering if her character was legitimately annoying, or just annoying because she's a woman with strong convictions. And having now seen it I can definitively say that those people are sexists. I promise you none of them would have considered her character annoying if she were played by Jason Statham. Also, to go into that movie KNOWING the outcome and to come out saying, "'100%, 100%,' she was SO ANNOYING!" isn't just sexist, it's downright un-American. There, I said it.

Annie is coming to visit me next month!!!!!!!!

You know that thing where you're just talking, not even chewing food or anything, just talking, and you bite your cheek? That happened to me the other day, except that instead of my cheek it was Penny's nose. It's inexplicable. She was on my lap, and I was having a conversation with Jon, and she made a sudden motion, and the next thing I knew I had clamped down on something cold and wet.

It has been absolutely GLORIOUS weather in Phoenix. Rainy off and on and fluctuating between 50 and 70 degree highs. (It dipped below freezing for several nights a few weeks ago and that was great, too.)

It's cold enough in the evenings and mornings for hoodies, feather quilts, jammie + robe combos, and puppy snuggling:

I am not a baker, but Costco was selling this fleur-de-lis Nordicware Bundt pan a couple of months ago and I became obsessed. I'd walk slowly past the display, staring longingly. Then one week, it wasn't there anymore, and I realized what a huge mistake I'd made, and there was a void in my soul that I thought would never be fulfilled. But in stepped Jon to save the day. Apparently the store still had a few in stock and he gifted me one for Christmas. So far this chocolate cake is the only thing I've made in it, but I foresee many Bundt-shaped treats in my future.

Three tablespoons butter, three tablespoons coconut oil, 1/2 cup Nutella, combine over medium heat. Melt in 6 cups mini marshmallows. Add 6 cups rice krispies. Press into greased 9x13. Die and go to heaven.

I told Jon I'd give him a dollar to do this the entire time my visiting teachers were over.

Dug up this gem of a conversation the other day. I call it, "Why Christa and I are Friends, Exemplified."

In conclusion, there is a BYU-I student named Raveen. Her siblings are Kanyin, Desert, Meysa, and Ridge!!!!! I cannot reveal my source, but this is extremely reliable, first-hand information. (To me. Second-hand to you.)

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Memory Lane: Some of the Best Bits of 2012

A new nephew
"My sister ejected another infant from her womb!"

Being rehired at my old firm and looking back on the job hunt
"There was this really weird experience with a recruiter who ended up actually being the company owner’s wife?? – I didn’t get that job; I’m sure it went to someone more ugly."

Reminiscing about that time I stole a penis pen topper
"Christa, the most straight-and-narrow person I know, saw the look of evil glee spreading over my face as I closely regarded the penis ornament (pornament?), and I’ve never seen laughter turn so quickly to sheer terror."

An eye exam
"She put the drops in, I sat in the waiting room by the trash can until fully dilated, then she completed the flashlight part of the exam more quickly than I’m sure she would have if I’d been different."

A testimony building experience
"God truly does know me personally."

YW days
"We could cook noodles! We could feed five whole people for a dollar apiece! We were going to be able to keep our children alive!!!!"

  • This comment from my cousin-in-law was one of my favorites from the whole year:

The Annual Baby Names Post
Paizli, Razdyn, Zavan, etc.

  • Several comments on this post deserve recognition, too. Some of them are from me. Is that lame? (Also, some are redacted. Also, they're not in chronological order, but you'll be okay. Also, I got called "evil" for the first time in my life in these comments - by Anonymous, who else?)

Moving on!

Pants on the ground
"The woman with the naughty dog screamed, 'I'm so sorry! I promise I didn't look!!' and Jon casually remarked, 'What? It's just underwear...', collected his pants and snapped them back together."

Thoughts on the Mormon obsession with modesty
"And for the men (oh gosh, I should have taken pictures) - translucent, clingy shorts that suction unrelentingly to penises upon exiting the water and leave absolutely nothing to the invagination-excuse me- imagination."

  • The comments...I can't even narrow it down. You really should revisit them all. There's comedy gold, there's anger, there's someone who's disappointed in me as a Mormon, and there's some awesomely inappropriate Gooogle search suggestions. The first half of the comments were mostly supportive, but then so many dissenters piled on that I set up this poll to get an accurate gauge of the feelings amongst my readers. As it turns out, pretty much everyone was on the same page as me; the most vocal group on the original post happened to be the minority. On the poll, a reader named Scotty said, "We should never hold someone to an expectation that their Heavenly Father doesn't even hold them to," which basically summed up every feeling I've had on the topic in 17 wise words.

An easy fix
"It seems like before the one-upmanship platform of mommy blogs came along, a whole lot fewer kids were getting three-tiered ombre fondant cakes for their birthdays, is what I'm saying."

Ode to pure crazy Ada
Included because she turned 3 last year, and also because of Jon's comment:

They burned my heart!
Included because, duh, my heart is fixed. It was sort of the biggest thing that happened to me this year.

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Utah Christmas: Part 2 (the end)

Me and Annie, headed to Dickey's BBQ

Jon's hand pretending to steal popcorn from the lady in front of us at Les Mis. We also saw Life of Pi and the Hobbit (all great, except for the actor in Life of Pi that played the author. AWFUL).

Annie feeding Joseph while Corinne, my mom, and Steve took their shift at Les Mis.

Huge herd of wild elk at the base of Mount Timpanogos at sunset.


Kneaders! We went twice.

Lunch at Whole Foods in Park City after the Outlets.

Jon's version of playing dolls is saying, "I like your dress! I like your lipstick!" over and over in a high pitched voice. 

Jon's sister Kelsey gave birth in Pocatello while we were in Heber! What are the odds?? Especially since her previous daughter was born in Rexburg when we were home from the island on break, so we've been there for 2 out of 3. Crazy (and awesome). She cut it close though - this baby was born the day before we had to leave to come home, so we barely squeezed a trip up. Phew. 

Kelsey is asking Jon, "Wanna hold her?" in the above picture.

Hazel Ruth


Snowy day

We met the fam in SLC on our way back from Pocatello for Cheesecake Factory and TEMPLE LIGHTS!! Christmas isn't Christmas without a trip to Temple Square.

Annie and Steve in front of the beautiful reflecting pool nativity and floating lights.

I need one of those. (Snowsuit. And the baby too, I guess.) He was clearly warmer than all of us put together.

Corinne took this picture.

This, too.

Corinne and Kyle left the next morning, but not before squeezing in a round of the Dance Family Fun game after the temple lights. I haven't laughed so hard in years. Annie was the lucky one that pulled out "dingleberry" for the charades round. (Also, "Jon's pants fell down.")

I wish this showed up better :( It was snowing PERFECT LITTLE SNOWFLAKES. Like cartoon snowflakes.

All ready to head to Annie's frigid basement to watch Brave! Does posting this picture make me a modest fashion blogger??

Annie wearing the hat I made her!

The end. The rest of the pictures are from our trip home.

Sooooooo cold. The roads were great both ways, though.

It was 2 degrees at this truck stop in Scipio, UT. Yes, that is a zebra. Pretty sure zebras aren't designed to live in 2 degree weather.