Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thankful Thursday


My big family. Parents, siblings, parents-in-law, siblings-in-law, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, nieces, nephews, and so on and so forth. We're a fun crowd. Let’s throw “friends” into this mix, too. Especially friends with blogs. They get me through the day.

My little family. There's only two of us and we get along swimmingly, except for when Jon goes globe-trotting, meeting new and interesting people and eating exotic foods only to come home and want to eat at Texas Roadhouse with me. Every. Single. Time. It's a sore subject. I've never eaten real sushi. ...It's a sore subject. But no, really, I couldn't have married a better man. He is so patient with me, so forgiving, and so damn sexy. He's got this pair of slim grey jeans that will render you unconscious, especially when paired with a certain red polo… for which I am very grateful.

My religion. (Even though learning more about it sometimes requires suffocating to death in a noxious death-trap.)

My dog. She's a real weirdo, but she's MY weirdo, and she keeps me company while Jon is away. (Globe-trotting. And eating sushi.)

Our apartment. Minus one creepy neighbor, it's a great place to live. It's two hundred square feet bigger than our old apartment in Rexburg, which means that for the first couple of weeks after we moved in I entertained myself by starting in one corner of the living room, taking large strides across to the hallway, turning right and continuing on to the bedroom, and ending up on the far side near the nightstand. JUST BECAUSE I COULD. Extra space makes me happy. We also live in a really nice part of town, with beautiful views and lots of open areas with pretty vegetation. Surprising? That's because you haven't come to visit us yet to see for yourself. So get on that. Thanks.

Tucson in general. This city has been really good to us. We came on a whim, with nothing lined up, and I was able to find a great job within two months of living here. A couple of months later, Jon received a call from his current employer and was hired on the spot for an amazing position that has given us lots of incredible opportunities. Oh, Tucson. Some of your areas are kind of filthy, gang-y, and homicide-y, but I can't stay mad at you.



Sunday, November 23, 2008

Sunday notes

To the lady sitting three pews ahead of me: I don't like you repeatedly turning around and staring at me any less than you like me looking directly at you when you do it. (This was too long for my Twitter feed, and I didn't have it in me to try to cut it down.)

While I'm at it...our Relief Society room was unbearably hot and overcrowded, and also graced by the presence of a smelly turd hidden in some child's diaper, accompanied by a mother who obviously didn't feel that it was her job to remove it.

On a more positive note, we got to sing my favorite Thanksgiving hymn today, TWICE...


She moved! She's gone!! Hooray!!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Subway: Now hiring comedians of all shapes and sizes

Me: Lettuce, tomato, you guys have spinach?
Him: No. I don't believe in spinach. My mom told me as a boy, "Kyle, you eat your spinach and you'll grow up nice and strong, like Popeye", and I'm all like, hahahaha, "Mommm! Look at me! [points to scrawny self] I could NEVER be big and strong!" So I don't believe in spinach. Not one bit. [folds my sandwich up, prepares to wrap it]
Me: Um...actually, I wasn't done with toppings yet.
Him: ...Well you stopped talking.
Me: ..........You were telling your story. I was being polite.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

A panda video? Really? That's it? ...Srsly?

So I guess it's time to update this sucker. Nope, nothing new to discuss. But my friend Valry did turn me on to this video of a baby panda sneezing, THANK GOODNESS. I will never stop laughing. Amazing.

PS- I'm really sorry about the suggested video at the end. You'll know it when you see it.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


I think the topic of my creepy neighbor warrants further discussion. I always knew he was an oddball (see here), but the past few weeks he has really begun to make me uneasy. It started with him leaning out from behind his truck to stare penetratingly into our home one day when I opened the blinds, and it ended with him coming and standing within ten feet of me for no good reason one day without saying anything for three or four minutes while I was waiting for Penny to hurry up and take a dump. As though I were a T-Rex, and as long as he kept perfectly still, I wouldn’t even know he was there. That was the last straw, but there were lots of things in between, too, the most notable of which was him following me in his golf cart from one end of the apartment complex to the other as I walked to get the mail. Once I got to my mailbox, he came careening around the corner and parked haphazardly near the curb to then quiz me on all the things the postman had brought me that day. Another time, while I was waiting in the Jeep for Jon (who had run into the apartment to grab my purse before we left to go to the dog park), creepy neighbor buddy came down the stairs to the parking lot, then stood at the bed of his truck, perfectly parallel to me, and stared me down until Jon emerged from our house. Each time I glanced over at him, he was looking right at my face, and he didn’t even bother to look away. And there were lots of little things, too, like how every single time when I walked Penny to her potty spot, THAT was the moment he decided to come outside to have a smoke. Or like how the one day I’ve ever used our exercise facility, THAT was the day he had to be walking back and forth through it. Mind you, this man is my next door neighbor. We share an entryway and a living room wall. He’s also an employee of the complex, doing maintenance and grounds keeping and whatnot. To be fair though, honestly, I’ve never felt scared of him or directly threatened or anything. As I put it in a recent letter to a friend:

“It’s not like I’m scared of him, or I think he’s going to use his master key to come watch me sleep while Jon is out of town, but I definitely think he’s an oddball that needs someone to explain to him ‘You don’t stare into tenant’s windows for prolonged amounts of time’. You know? One of those guys whose mother never taught him how to be normal? How to act around people? The difference between being friendly and being an effing psychopath? These are all valuable life lessons that he must have somehow missed out on.”

Anyway, so I typed myself up a nice little letter and walked it on down to management. And that’s the end of that. Hopefully.

Other than that, not much going on. Being bored to death at work, Jon off traveling around, getting excited for the holidays. Trying to come up with ideas for Christmas gifts. Planning out all the delicious places I’m going to eat while in Salt Lake City for Thanksgiving. Preparing for my upcoming weekend in Las Vegas. This is the stuff I think about when there is absolutely nothing else to do. Sorry I even mentioned it. Things will pick up soon and I’ll have lots to blog about, but for now…this is what you get.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Step 1: Caulk the tub. Step 2: Clean the tub

I probably shouldn’t even mention this. But I’m going to anyway. I caulked our bathtub the other day (don’t be too impressed, I did a really terrible job) and THIS is what the floor of the tub looked like when I was finished:

.........and I just lost half my readers. Including my mom.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Careful. I'm Freakishly Strong.

I keep forgetting to mention that I tore a phone book in half a couple of days ago at work. Seriously. A coworker taught me the proper technique, and I got it on the first try. It was HILARIOUS. Just trust me on that.