Friday, May 13, 2011


I've made it my summer project to go through all my parent's dusty archives to digitize the best photos and whatever else I happen to run across. Today that included a journal my mom thought had been lost forever in their move to Idaho, but that had really only been lost to the bottom of a pile in the back corner of an annually opened drawer. It's a notebook filled with funny quotes from us kids. A little part of me died the day that my mom confessed she feared it would never be found, so imagine BOTH of our delights when I unearthed it!!

I know that, with very few exceptions, these sorts of things are at best boring and at worst irksome to everyone on the outside. No one else thinks your kids (or in this case, you and your siblings as kids) are as awesome as you do - something I hope to remember (but know that I won't) when I have kids of my own. BUT. I picked out the best from the journal and I'm 20% certain that at least some of these can be enjoyed by people outside of my immediate family.

(Oh gosh, I'm about to digress. Here comes the digression. I can't stop it. A few years back our friends, new parents, took their son to the pediatrician for his six-month check-up. The husband started explaining that his boy seemed to be developing ahead of the curve when the irritated doctor interrupted, "Blah blah blah, your kid is a genius, your kid is the best, I've heard it all a thousand times before". Of course, my initial reaction when they told me that story was OMG WORST PEDIATRICIAN EVER, but my secondary, inward reaction was that I wanted to shake that man's hand, and possibly be his friend.)

Okay. So. My favorites. I've typed these up exactly how my mom wrote them down at the time (she's a good writer! I never knew!):


Jacob is really looking forward to the arrival of our new baby. One evening he felt it kicking inside mommy's tummy and was concerned that it was hurting her. I told him it didn't hurt now but that later it would be big enough to kick my ribs and that would hurt a little. 'Will it get sauce on its feet?' he asked! (age 3)

Jake painted some pictures one day. Mom picked one up and said, "That's cute." "I know," said Jake, "it's me!"

We were returning home from Rothenburg after seeing the Kriminal Haus and all the strange punishments they used to inflict when Corinne started in on one of her famous disturbances. Jake remarked casually, "It's too bad they don't still burn witches."

Corinne was talking to mommy. "Turn around, mom, turn around! Nice bum, mom!" (age 2)

Corinne asked Jake if he wanted to go "teeting on the totter."

Corinne declared, "I'm a good helper, but I'm not helping with Annie's stuff!"

One of our neighbors was smoking. When Corinne saw him she commented, "He must not be a human." (Mormon)

"Did you see my medicine? It's all purpled up." Jess age 2

Mom and Dad were spending one of those rare leisurely mornings in bed when Jessica came in. She demanded, "Dad! Let Mom go!"

Annie asked Dad if he had a mustache when he was a baby. (age 4)

We found it necessary to have a Family Home Evening on respecting others' property. We called people who didn't "Gadianton robbers." The first time Jess was accused she said, "I'm not an idiot robber!"

During hunting season 1989 Annie asked, "Does Dad collect deer?" (age 6)

Annie was eating something she didn't like. "It tastes like raw dragon," she said.

Greg Hopkins' mother was coming to visit from Texas. The children were asking what she was like. I told them she was really nice. Annie asked, "Does she give rides?"

Jessica was having a hard time staying in bed one night. Mom said she might end up with a spanking if she got out again. Jessie said, "Don't you know Heavenly Father doesn't like you to spank your children?" "I'm sure you're right," said mom, "what could I do to get you to mind me?" Jessie said, "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

[Aaaaand my personal favorite:]

Jessie started making a racket when told she couldn't go somewhere. Mom said, "Cryers don't get to do anything." "I'm not crying, I'm screaming" said Jessie.


  1. haha. "one of my famous disturbances". Yep.

  2. When I read "It tastes like raw dragon," (still crying with laughter) I snorted so loudly that I startled myself and a student turned around to glare at me. I shouldn't read your blog when I'm at work. :p

  3. I'm so glad you found it!

  4. Blogger was on the fritz yesterday and ATE THIS POST. Apparently I wasn't the only person that happened to. Anyway, here were the comments from the original:

    Corinne said, "haha. 'one of my famous disturbances'. Yep."

    Valry said, "When I read "It tastes like raw dragon," (still crying with laughter) I snorted so loudly that I startled myself and a student turned around to glare at me. I shouldn't read your blog when I'm at work. :p"

    Annie said, "I'm so glad you found it!"

    Bridget said, "These were hilarious!"

    Oprah said, "I want to book you for my finale"

  5. oh oprah that dog! always keeping you on your toes

  6. I bet. Thanks for the digression, I laughed. Hard. So true.

    Your last one was definitely a favorite. And the raw dragon, but that goes without saying. I wish Norah would say something like that. . .

    I do wonder about Oprah's finale. I guess I'll watch it now, if you're going to be there. Do you have to wear pastel?

  7. I LOVE similar stories from my family! Thanks for sharing yours and I'm glad you found your book!