Monday, April 29, 2013


There's this website called Ravelry that you can use to search for crochet patterns, share your projects, research yarns, etc. My favorite feature is the "projects" page where everyone who attempted a pattern posts pictures and outlines any changes they made, giving tips and guidance for helping others' projects to turn out well. Anyway, all of that to say I found THIS today:

Saturday, April 27, 2013

A very scientific experiment

Photos by Cara Lott

Hypothesis: If I jump into this minuscule inner tube from the diving board, it will stop at my knees, locking my legs together and making it difficult to swim to shore.

First attempt was a failure. I landed on the edge of the tube.

Second attempt: Nailed it.

Hypothesis does not become theory.

Use the force

Vadering is the new planking (which was lame). Tell your friends.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Rundown

It's been over three weeks since this year's names post went up and traffic has come to a screeching halt, so it's time to go over some figures. This post didn't take off quite like last year's did, but it still did pretty good.

Hits to date: 10,086

[This is the part where I would post Facebook stats (shares and number of comments), but the site I used to track that stuff is gone now. Boooooo]

[This is the part where I would post the number of subscribers I gained, but Google Reader is on its way out and doesn't update my numbers anymore. Boooooo]

Tweets to date (not counting retweets): Somewhere in the 20s. Again, Twitter has never been a big platform for this post, which I've always found really interesting. Also, usually my biggest sharers are the Mormon stay-at-home-mom demographic, but most of the people tweeting the link this year were non-Mormon professional men.

Top referring sites: Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, By Common Consent, Pretty Life Anonymous, Natalie's Sentiments, Nameberry, Bridget's blog

Total comments on the original post: 171

Number of comments before someone claimed to personally know the -jello twins: 3

Number of comments before someone brought up Le-a-pronounced-Ledasha: 19

Total comments I had to delete before my mom saw: ZERO!!! It's a miracle, not a single expletive! No calls to repentance, either. Yet.

Other stuff:

  • This guy with 59,000 followers tweeted it. Surprisingly, it only accounted for about 1,500 hits. That's just 2.5% of his total followers. Makes me wonder how many of MY followers click the links I post.

  • So many good comments this year, but this one was definitely in my top five:

(I can forgive the second Anonymous for repeating Cannon, since the suggestion of "Plinth" pretty much rocked my world.)
  • After I received this comment (from a non-Anonymous account, mind you)...
...I texted Jon, "Did I just get my very first threat??" The commenter must have realized that it came across that way though, because the comment was hastily deleted and a similar one minus the "you better be careful..." part, from Anonymous this time, took its place.
  • I so wish I could be a fly on the wall of strangers' Facebook discussions of my post. It's my top referring site and it drives me crazy knowing that people (on both sides of the equation) are discussing it/laughing about it/reviling it, and I can't see any of that. I was emailed one thread, though, that pretty well made my life complete, because apparently someone with a son named "Draycin" hates my name.
  • It angered some people that I reject the name Le-a. My attitude probably didn't help.

Thursday, April 18, 2013


I forgot about the absolute best thing that has happened in the last two weeks!!! Consider this a PS to my last post. At our church last week, and I'm assuming at LDS churches everywhere, a message from the First Presidency was read over the pulpit prior to opening the floor for testimonies. It said the usual stuff that everyone always ignores about what a testimony is, inappropriate topics for testimony meetings, with an emphasis on keeping it brief so more people have the opportunity to speak. Well of course everyone completely disregarded it immediately, and the testimonies (depresstimonies?) dragged on and on. This one guy that neither of us had ever seen before was entering his sixth minute without ever referencing the gospel when Jon leaned over to me and whispered, "He doesn't even go here!"

Happy birthday, Jon! Sorry I suck!!

It was Jon's birthday Tuesday! The big 3-7. We went to my aunt and uncle's place for Sunday dinner. She tied balloons to his chair and made strawberry shortcake:
It was a lot more than I managed to do for him. My AMAZING present fell through the cracks so I didn't even have anything for him to open, then the Jeep was acting up on my way home from work so he had to come get me. We went to Texas Roadhouse afterwards to celebrate then stopped by Cheesecake Factory for dessert to go, but I fell asleep at 9 before we even had the chance to eat it. The next morning, I found THIS on the countertop, and my heart broke into a million fragments:
Sorry Jon :( I'll make it up to you with a pool party this weekend. Tuesday birthdays are the WORST. 
Speaking of the pool, it's warming up! 
Glamour shots by Jess

This is my favorite desert plant, and this is the most glorious one I've ever seen. They're only in bloom for about two weeks out of the year so I've been drinking them in.
Jon sang "I've. got. HOV" all the way to our destination. Ignore the dirty windshield. The Maz just turned 400,000 kilometers so you wouldn't even be able to tell if we DID wash it.
SO GORGEOUS OMG. We went on a hike at the McDowell Sonoran Preserve last weekend, and everything was blooming and it was the most beautiful day and I loved every second.
Two things, then I'm done I promise.
1. I just remembered a nightmare that my sister-in-law Lianna had like 7 years ago. She was working at one of those awful telephone survey call centers in Rexburg at the time, and dreamt that she had been assigned a survey full of all sorts of sexually explicit questions and that the call list was made entirely of numbers from her hometown. BEST. NIGHTMARE. EVER.
2. I was talking to Corinne about her upcoming trip to FRANCE AND ITALY, and then this happened:
Ada: I want to talk to Jessie.
Corinne: Okay, wipe your bum and wash your hands, and then you can talk.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Names 2012!

Names 2011!
It's the most wonderful time of the year! Southeast Idaho has REALLY outdone itself. How many awful made-up and/or misspelled baby names were there in this year's newspaper insert? Barf many.

(If you're new, read here. If not, read on!)

It's tradition to kick things off with the Mix-N-Match category. These names seem to be the unfortunate result of blindly picking syllables out of hats.

Skylee Ranae
Raegan Tyree
Traven Cru
Shaelynn Rylee

Next, the To-Be-Expecteds. I don't want to downplay this category. They are still all very, very bad. We've just grown used to them.

Ashelyn Rhain
McKinlee (multiple)
Bentley Boe
Oakley (multiple)
Riggin (!)

Jossalyn McKinzli

Invasion of the Ks 
Kaiya (TWO!! Spelled the exact same way!)
Kloee Lorraine
Kaizlyn Mckenna

Dad loves his guns!
(This wasn't in the newspaper insert, but my parents personally know people in Rexburg with a daughter named Benelli and this seemed like the best place to mention it. They also know a Remingtn. Her family calls her Tinny but wouldn't it technically be Tny?)

Palmer Beard?? I hardly knew 'er beard!!
Palmer Dartell Beard

Kaclyn (cacklin'?)

Twins. Naming disasters x2.

Sutton and Nixon (both girls)
Xyra and Zoran (...blink.)

Aaaand it's what you came here for: The "WHAT the EFF???????s"

Cherish Marymay
Rayce (multiple)
Liberty Dyan
Diezel Jaxson
Jayde (a BOY)
Veora CrysLynn "Sunshine"

Two-way tie for the absolute worst name:
Sargent Slade

(Sargent!!! Ryatt!!! SARGENT!!!!! RYYYYAAAATT!!)


Point 1. Each year I get accused of overlooking the fact that babies all over the place are named dumb things. I don't know how people make the leap from "This is a thing that happens in Utah and Idaho" to "THIS IS A THING THAT ONLY HAPPENS IN UTAH AND IDAHO," but regardless, they do. I will now preemptively link to my response to that accusation, here.

Point 2. The comments are fun, but when sharing names let's stick to first-hand experiences, reliable second-hand at most. None of this "My sister's old roommate is a nurse and her coworker told her..." stuff.

Related to Point 2. Le-a doesn't exist. The urban legend is rooted deep in racism. Stop repeating it. (Same goes for Orangejello, Lemonjello, Vagina, et al.)

Point 3. This is how I imagine little Jaxzon was named:

Mom: Which do you prefer, Jaxton or Zavan?
Dad: Well, which one will make us look cooler?
Mom: It's a toss-up. Jaxton has a J and an X, but Zavan has a Z and V, so.
Dad: I think we can do better.
Together: JAXZON!!!