Texting, Episode III

My cell phone inbox is FULL which means good times for all! In the process of creating room for new messages, I once again have typed up the best ones for your viewing pleasure, sans names or context. Hooray!

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Did he get fired? Most companies nowadays fire on first offense. Costco castrates then fires. It's awesome.


I totally just flooded the toilet in [my husband's] mom's bathroom. Worst few minutes of my life.


There is a mom in Sacrament meeting letting her kid suck on her chin. For like 10 minutes. It's obscene.


A hideous dog.


Our power is out. We're sitting here under a blanket. [My husband] is playing Bejeweled and he just started singing Amazing Grace. WHAT?


Haha, "Dangliest".


Look it up, he is dead because Obama hated Jurassic Park.


I just used eggs for brownies that expired May 7. Is that bad? [let it be noted that I received this text on October 21st]


3 and a half inches long. That's huge!!!!


My predictive text always says "Jerrie" before it will say "Jessie".


Someone sent me a text that was supposed to say "good" but they misspelled it and it said "goob". I laughed for days.


No, he just called me a wet blanket because I didn't want to cuddle.


I could feel my heart beating really fast today and it reminded me of super-tacky, then I had the ticky tacky song stuck in my head all day.


The old poo and wander is a classic.

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There you have it. Feel free to nominate your favorites, post good ones from your OWN phone on your OWN blog, or just forget you ever saw this. I am so sorry.


The first and second of these posts can be found here and here, respectively.