Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Names 2012!

Names 2011!
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It's the most wonderful time of the year! Southeast Idaho has REALLY outdone itself. How many awful made-up and/or misspelled baby names were there in this year's newspaper insert? Barf many.

(If you're new, read here. If not, read on!)


It's tradition to kick things off with the Mix-N-Match category. These names seem to be the unfortunate result of blindly picking syllables out of hats.

Skylee Ranae
Raegan Tyree
Taybree
Brylee
Brinley/Brynley
JaCee
Myla
Traven Cru
Amberlynn
Shaelynn Rylee
Shaylynn
Sharlee
Adalee


Next, the To-Be-Expecteds. I don't want to downplay this category. They are still all very, very bad. We've just grown used to them.

Jaxson
Ashelyn Rhain
Jayce
Brantley
London/Londyn
McKinlee (multiple)
Daxton
Paxton
Jett
Bentley Boe
Presleigh
Oakley (multiple)
Harlee
Riggin (!)


Sound-it-Outs
Callee
Kash
Alyxandra
Jossalyn McKinzli
Adisyn
Abigale
Rodnie


Invasion of the Ks 
Kaebree
Kason
Kimber
Kael
Kaiya (TWO!! Spelled the exact same way!)
Kooper
Kambree
Kambrea
Kinzlee
Kloee Lorraine
Kaizlyn Mckenna
Kennassie
Keygan


Dad loves his guns!
Wesson
Remington
(This wasn't in the newspaper insert, but my parents personally know people in Rexburg with a daughter named Benelli and this seemed like the best place to mention it. They also know a Remingtn. Her family calls her Tinny but wouldn't it technically be Tny?)


Palmer Beard?? I hardly knew 'er beard!!
Palmer Dartell Beard


Gerunds
Racyn
Chasin
Treycin/Treysin
Kaclyn (cacklin'?)
Raelynn


Twins. Naming disasters x2.

Sutton and Nixon (both girls)
Xyra and Zoran (...blink.)

Aaaand it's what you came here for: The "WHAT the EFF???????s"

Jagger
Cherish Marymay
Greyleigh
Archer
Rayce (multiple)
Liberty Dyan
Diezel Jaxson
Makiyah
Jayde (a BOY)
Veora CrysLynn "Sunshine"
Jaxzon

Two-way tie for the absolute worst name:
Sargent Slade
Ryatt

(Sargent!!! Ryatt!!! SARGENT!!!!! RYYYYAAAATT!!)


Discussion:


Point 1. Each year I get accused of overlooking the fact that babies all over the place are named dumb things. I don't know how people make the leap from "This is a thing that happens in Utah and Idaho" to "THIS IS A THING THAT ONLY HAPPENS IN UTAH AND IDAHO," but regardless, they do. I will now preemptively link to my response to that accusation, here.

Point 2. The comments are fun, but when sharing names let's stick to first-hand experiences, reliable second-hand at most. None of this "My sister's old roommate is a nurse and her coworker told her..." stuff.

Related to Point 2. Le-a doesn't exist. The urban legend is rooted deep in racism. Stop repeating it. (Same goes for Orangejello, Lemonjello, Vagina, et al.)

Point 3. This is how I imagine little Jaxzon was named:

Mom: Which do you prefer, Jaxton or Zavan?
Dad: Well, which one will make us look cooler?
Mom: It's a toss-up. Jaxton has a J and an X, but Zavan has a Z and V, so.
Dad: I think we can do better.
Together: JAXZON!!!

260 comments:

  1. My favorite post every year, hands down! I was so excited to comment that I overheard a mom calling her son Nixon in a waiting room yesterday, but of course southern Idaho beat me to it.

    Also, Sargent?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From southern Utah County, I've met a Celestial Angel (last name Angel, may be Angell) and an Irelynn. Why did a red line just go under Irelynn? haha

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  2. Sailor. From someone currently living in Southern Utah.

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    Replies
    1. I also know a Saylor in Southern Utah. But with a 'y' obviously. Something about the desert makes the parents think of the ocean???

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    2. I just want to go on the record as someone who is a total baby name snob AND as someone who likes the name Saylor for a little girl.

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    3. Anyone watch the anime show Sailor Moon? Her blonde meatball ponytails were lethal... Could never put Sailor on a girl after having that show to associate it with. But that's just me... Seriously. Go to Google and type in sailor and it automatically wants to add moon as the next word.

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  3. I love these yearly posts! Thanks for another great one. :) But I will say I know two boys, twins, named Oranjello and Lemonjello. They're very nice kids and I live in Maryland. But I have yet to meet a Vagina, thank goodness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THAT didn't take long...

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    2. Yep, totally making it up. Not.

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  4. My nephew's name is Baylor.
    I don't even know.

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  5. You are going to die! I have a friend named Zyngawf50172330.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, this is my favorite comment ever.. I have a few friends named Zyngawf{insertnumberhere}

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    2. Bahahahahahaaaa! YES. Best comment ever.

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  6. My niece goes to school with an Icelyn. Also, recently i ran into a guy i hate after not seeing him for about a year. He got really fat *and* named his daughter McKinlee, so clearly i win.

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  7. A friend just named her GIRL Colton. Also I know THREE people who've named their baby girls Taylee. WTF?! I also know a family with a Nixon, Cruz, Matix, and Hurley. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My former sis-in-law was named Tylee, not lie. Apparently her parents thought she was going to be a boy that they would name Tyler so when she came they made her Tylee, Tylee Ginger. *Facepalm

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  8. I can't remember where i saw it, but i came across a girl named Nixon the other day, but it was spelled Nyxxann. I wonder when parents will just give in and start putting 3 Xs into their kids' names; you know they want to.

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    Replies
    1. That is my friends daughter! Well she spells it Nixxyn. I just smiled and said..CUTE! What was I suppose to do?

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  9. Teaching -- students (girls) Sinnimin and Diva

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    Replies
    1. Naming your kid a random spice and then intentionally misspelling it? That's the worst. I initially read it "synonym" instead of "cinnamon." Either way is bad, but why further confuse the world with wonky spelling?

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    2. I don't use hate very often. But I hate the mom who named a baby Sinnimin.

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  10. My niece and nephew in CA have best friends named Turtle and Sailor.

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  11. Bentley Boe is exceptionally horrific.

    Braquel and Jericho are two recent head-scratchers.

    AND! Jessie, my mom teaches a kid named (wait for it)...Bambam Cain. BAMBAM CAIN, Jessie! How the heck does one escape from either of those names?

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  12. My favorite names here are by far Xyra and Zoran. Xyra, okay, is almost certainly a creation, though it doesn't quite have the same made-up feel as, say, Taybree. Zoran is legit, though exactly how it's legit seems to be up for debate: it's the masculine form of Zora, according to one source, and a variation of Zorion (itself the Basque form of Orion) according to another. I can also stomach Archer.

    Back in the day, my mom had a coworker who had a son named Sergeant; she says he went by "Sargie" as a kid. His father, her coworker, was named Major. She believes Major's father's name was also some variety of military rank. (Colonel? General? That way every subsequent generation could be demoted! Eventually some spawn of Sargie's can be called "Private"!) I learned about this when I was visiting home for Easter and spotted (and, naturally, commented on the name of) a guy called Major Garrett on TV - he's the Chief White House Correspondent with CBS News, apparently. Wikipedia helpfully points out that Major is, indeed, his proper name.

    I had a teacher friend swear up and down last year that he had a student whose name had a $ instead of an 's' in it, and that it was even printed this way on his official class roster. I don't know if I believe him, though he doesn't really seem the type to lie, either.

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  13. I'm sure you've seen the meme floating around of a woman who was interviewed on the news - Airwrecka (pronounced "Erica") McBride. As an ERICA myself, I take particular offense at that one.

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    Replies
    1. I'm an ERIKA and I take particular offense at your name.

      j/k

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  14. Burdyn. A family member named their baby girl Burdyn. I think she will have low self esteem for the rest of her life! Sad.

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    1. oh dear. We have friends who have the LAST name of Burden. I hope Burdyn doesn't hook up with them......

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  15. I just named my son Jackson, and I get so many people asking me if I spelled it with an X. I'm like no, no, no, and NO! I'm about to get a nephew named Jayce Braxton, btw. :) And I live in Utah!

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    1. Thank you for using the traditional spelling. I also named my son Jackson almost 16 years ago and although it's not as original as I thought it was at the time, it's still a strong name. The other spellings with the x and the z are, to me, futile attempts at making a strong name into a cute name. Hopefully their boys are cute because their names are ugly.

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  16. I don't know much, but I know that in 18 years, I'll want to punch Jaxzon right in the puka shell necklace.

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  17. What about "dad loves guns but all of our other kids names start with a B?" Enter - BREMINGTON. True story. This just reminded me I forgot to tell you about that one.

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  18. This annual post is better than Christmas! Thank you for doing it and making my year complete.

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  19. My Mom is a registrar at a high school and comes across some really crazy names. And she has to put the child's name on their birth certificate as their official name, no nicknames. This one family didn't like that cause they never changed the Birth certificate name when they didn't have a name. So at High school every class this girl goes into the roll will be read Baby Girl Ramirez. Why not make the effort to change that name.

    Also My friend is a 5th grade teacher and a couple years ago she had a student named La-a. when she called her name the first day she said Laa. and the girl said "it's Ladasha, you say the dash". I still Laugh about this. And boy was she proud of her name.

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    1. ........and there it is.

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    2. I just thought I would say it was real La-a. I saw the Roll computer records and everything so not a urban legend.

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    3. You'd rather believe that everyone is a racist than believe that in a world with documented names like "Apple," "Facebook," and "Moon Unit," someone could really be ridiculous enough to pronounce a "dash" in a name? I too have experience with a La-sha. I guess I'm just a racist too.

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    4. An anonymous internet stranger has experience with Le-a pronounced Ledasha? Well I guess that settles it, everyone.

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    5. You're right. I should have kept my opinions to myself. You go on and keep thinking that only white people use stupid names and stupid spellings and that anyone who says otherwise is racist for saying so. I can only hope you move out of Rexburg, Idaho one day to somewhere with a little diversity. Have a nice weekend.

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    6. Sorry, I see that you have lived elsewhere. Never mind then. Don't worry, I'm done posting. I only came back for this one in case you felt the need to Tweet about my mistake so you can feel better. Here it is: an anonymous stranger was wrong. Good luck with your life.

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  20. I work at the local heath dep. We have recently seen a Kowen, Cadence, Sailor,
    scottland, and a Zilla. I love the Zilla, because I want to yell "GOD"zilla.

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  21. My name is Daxson. Since I was born in the 80s, I feel like I don't belong to this group of Idaho/Utah children influenced by the horrific naming syndrome that's clearly a product of PTSD brought on by 9/11. I will remain proud and superior.

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  22. I personally know a little boy named Qyle, pronounced 'Kyle'
    Kyle is already bad, why not make it worse?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just vomited a little in my mouth.

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  23. My good friend, a teacher, has the following second graders at her school... Sexxy, Shithead (shi-theed), and Placenta. All three are just sad. In a secondary note, we're about to have a 2nd boy this summer and are naming him Jericho, but calling him Jack. So, l guess I'm "one of those!"

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    1. Sadly, it's absolutely true. The mom of little Sexxy had quite the fit when her teacher requested a nickname to call her instead of her given name, which she felt was inappropriate to say in front of the kids all day. Placenta's mom was asked why she was named that and was told "i thought it was pretty."

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    2. What did she say when she say the name Shithead. Cause I am a teacher And don't know what would come out of my mouth

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    3. I bugged my teacher friend just today (this was bugging me all night) and she says that Sexxy and Shi-theed (I'd rather spell it that way) are indeed still there, but the young Ms. Placenta has moved schools. She was told how to say Sh's name the first time she saw it - and double-checked all three names on the school rosters.

      You know, I'm sure these started out as rude urban legends; but people have a way of making shockingly poor mistakes. My personal guess is that these parents think it's either funny, or just kind of anti-establishment to give these names. I hope they get to change them some day, like the poor girl "Tallulah Does The Hula In Hawaii" did.

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  24. Hi, long time reader, first time commenter here. This is the best day of the year, or at least close thereunto.

    My cousin named her son Ben and her daughter Elli. On purpose. Her husband has a thing for guns, and they live in Apache Junction. It's a fatal combination.

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    1. Oh, and another cousin (on the other side of the family) has a son named Zaqri.

      They also live in Apache Junction, I think I'm noticing a pattern.

      Delete
  25. There's an Epic in my nephew's kindergarten class and I taught a little girl named Passionatte. Yup, with two t's.

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    1. Best post of the year! But after reading the post/comments, I feel nauseous. I want to punch the mom who named her kid Epic in the jugular.

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  26. My neighbor's grandsons are Avin and Xailon. You can't make this up! Oh, and we do live in northern Utah. ;)

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  27. How about these names:
    Zooey, Zhigi, Zheik, Zxaeb, Zaylyn, & Zevin? Yup, all one family. Or there's Treyger, Taysen, & Tanyn. My personal favorite from this year: Ruger. Oh yeah...we haven't stopped making fun of that one.

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  28. I taught High School in the south and I had some neat names come across my roster.

    Queenae and mother's name is Princess

    Precious-Jewel

    Plezjour (pleasure-poor behavior marks)

    MuFati (from the African Continent originally)

    Lots of DeShauns, KaShawns, and D'Athonys, Shanequa, Uniqua, Shantiqua, Boy/Girl Fraternal Twins Daniel and Danielles (same subject; different class periods)

    And a McKaylee named by a girl I went to high school with.




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  29. Isn't "Kaiya!!!" the noise that Miss Piggy makes when she does her patented karate chop move? If I met little Kaiya!! I'd probably only be able to say it like that.

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  30. I have a friend who has 2 kids..... Tylee (girl) and Kyler (boy) the 2 kids have mashed up names of their parents. The mom's name is Kylee. Can you imagine trying to keep Kylee, Tylee, and Kyler all straight! Very hard.... Oh and they live in SE Idaho :D I also know someone whose name is spelled Janna but pronounced "yawna"

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    1. Um, Janna pronounced yawna could be someone who is actually from another country. Most of the rest of the world pronounces J that way. Just sayin'.

      Then again, it could just be a cutesy baby name, whatever.

      Delete
    2. Hey, Anonymous. You must live in my neighborhood. I haven't quite gotten used to the Kylee/Tylee/Kyler thing yet...That would be too hard. But Janna is my sister. It's just a German family name. Mine is Maren (pronounced Mahr-en, not Mare-in), it's danish. My brother is Mikkel, after the family name Mikkelsen. So unfortunately, that doesn't really qualify as Crazy Obnoxious/Creative Parents. On the other hand, yesterday I heard firsthand tales of an Oranjelo, and a Saige Bush, no middle name. I also knew a Seven when I was young. Now THOSE are some crazy parents. :)

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    3. Hey so I am that "Janna" you are talking about. I guess we know each other?? I find it hurtful, and if I were Kylee I would be hurt as well, to get on here and find someone anonymously poking fun at my name or the names I picked for my kids. Who is to say what is weird and what is not? Maybe the name has special meaning or maybe the kid or person has had enough of hearing how weird of a name it is. I am proud of my family name (I was named after my great-great grandma who came over from Germany and feel honored to be her namesake) and the only times I ever question my name is when someone else feels they have the right to say "what kind of name is that?" It is one thing to talk about names of people you have no idea who they are, but to poke fun of someone you "know"... a friend would never do that.

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  31. How about Caiside? (pronounced Cassidy) She the granddaughter of a friend. Yikes!!

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  32. And how about Cougar? Another friend's grandson...BYU fans, I'm guessing.

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    Replies
    1. I also know a Cougar. And yes, they are fans.

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  33. In my ward -- siblings named Cannon, Castle, Saber and Sentinel. Almost makes one hope they have a dozen kids!

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    Replies
    1. This might be my favorite comment so far.

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    2. Dungeon, Blazon, Damsel, Herald...

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    3. How about Pike, Cannon, Rampart, Plinth...?

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  34. I'm teacher in CA... I have a Madix (boy) and a Jennika (girl)

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  35. I heard a woman calling to her kid in a store the other day, "Jimmer, come here!" I face palmed that one. Only in Utah (or Idaho). When my oldest was in the NICU three years ago, he was the only boy there. There were three girls in the NICU with him. Two were twins: Paisley and Taisley. The other baby girl's name? Kaisley. So there was my little lone boy in the hospital with babies Paisley, Taisley and Kaisley.

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    Replies
    1. And is your son named Peter, by any chance? ;)

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  36. (And who knows how they were spelled. I only heard their names being called by the nurses. For all I know they could have been PaizLee, Taislee and Kayzley.)

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  37. I was a birth certificate clerk in CA and I came in contact with some real winners. Just to name a few, there was Saymyname, Anakin Jedi and Shankashae. Hands down the winner was Cash Money. No lie.

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    Replies
    1. Saymyname? A sentence is not a name!

      Delete
  38. My son goes to school with a girl named Heavenlee Princess. He says she is neither heavenly or princess-like.

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  39. How about Sinjin, Queenie, Dexter and Darby-Mac, all brothers and sisters (Draper, Ut).

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  40. I live in VA but recently met a little boy named Rendin, from Utah.

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  41. I've been holding onto this first-hand experience for over a month, waiting anxiously for this post. While shopping in one of the Charlotte malls, I witnessed the following while riding a department store esaclator and immediately thought of your annual post. Ahead of me on the escalator were two women and a teenaged girl. I guessed the trio to be grandmother, mom, daughter. As they exited the esaclator, grandmother and mom went left, daughter went right. Mom realizes daughter went the opposite direction and turns to look in the direction of daughter. As I pass between them she calls to daughter: "Sexy. This way, Sexy." There was no mistaking what she said. What's not understood - aside from the obvious - is the spelling. Sexy is too easy. Sexi? Sexxi? Sexxy? Sexee?

    Thank you for yet another terrific post!

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    Replies
    1. Just noticed another comment with a reference to Sexxy. Maybe that's it.

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  42. Recently ran across a child name Shaphard Ourel. Is this child a boy or a girl? Your guess is as good as mine.

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  43. This post is better than Christmas Day!
    While not completely crazy names, how come nobody has mentioned how Kristen Bell named her daughter Lincoln? Or that Jessica Simpson named her daughter Maxwell? Also my husband worked with a Remingtn in Rexburg. Also thank you for clearing up Li-A. I AM SO SICK OFTHAT NAME.

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    Replies
    1. You probably are called lad dash a sometimes, huh?

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  44. K, I generally don't do anonymous posts but my doula's grandaughter here in Rexburg, born in December, was unfortunately named Jemima Honey! Yes, for reals, Jemima Honey!

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  45. Oh dear, every year I'm excited (and a little scared) for this post! Too funny! So here is my contribution. My friend named her daughters Aniston (yes, as in Jennifer Aniston) and Paelyn (as in Sarah Palin) and is about to have a son, who's name will be Taggar. I can't even.... oh and my other friend who apparently can't spell, Linkoln. So I guess it's a "sound it out"/ "attack of the Ks" two-pher.

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    Replies
    1. We have a family members who recently named their son Linkoln, too, as well as friends whose daughter is named Anyston. There is a guy at our church whose name is Sky Zit (Zit is short for a family last name). His mom even rolled her eyes when she admitted to naming him that. And my friend's daughter is named Heiress.

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  46. I met a couple at my husband's work party who named their daughter Legion. Yes, LEGION. Um, I'm pretty sure that has rather Satanic connotations. Sheesh.

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  47. I have been looking forward to this post, and I was not disappointed. Cherish Marymay? HAHAHAHA. My brother's mission companion just named his son Memphis Alexx. Because the double x REALLY makes that name more cool. I cringe whenever I see it.

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  48. I personally know someone with children named Shade and Seven and a daughter named Melrose.

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  49. I love these posts! It truly is something to look forward to every year. I do have to say that my dog's name is Oakley. When we tell people his name, it's really common to learn that they know a little girl named Oakley. Side note - my friend's dog is named Jagger. Also **Desperately hoping that they don't read this blog** but I grew up with a family that was really close to mine. The kids names, from oldest to youngest: Rocky, Pebbles, Golden, Shadow, Dusty, Pepper, Deacon.

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  50. As a teacher, we had a student in our school named Dragon (pronounced Dray-gon) Really?! Why would you name your child after a monster?

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    Replies
    1. It might be Serbian. I have both an aunt and uncle, Dragona and Dragon who live in Belgrade.

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    2. That's possible. I've lived in a couple different countries and hadn't come across this name before, but I haven't been to Serbia.

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  51. During the last 5 years I have lived in NYC and LA. I thought there were some strange naming trends in these cities, but I guess Idaho and Utah have their own. I think Arizona and California should be included in the places with these kind of mormon-naming trends for sure. People who grew up in the 80's and 90's are sick of Jennifer and Justin. Some of my friends have named their kids Olive, Crew, Xela, Nixon, Xavier, Calliger, Deacon, Jaquai, Aris (like heiress), Hyacinth, Peterson, Maxim, and Catcher. On the playground I have heard of a boy named Satchel..it sounded a bit odd coming from his dad's mouth. I think this is just the naming period we are in here in the US. Also, some of the names people are mocking in these posts, are just not familiar to them, but actually are common..such as Jonna (pronounced Yanna - which is a common name in eastern and northern Europe). Also many African Americans do name their kids thinks like Precious and Temptress, so I am pretty sure the above mentioned name of "Heavenlee Princess" might be African American. Scandinavian countries have laws about naming. In recent years Swedish couples were not allowed to name their kids "Superman" "Wind" and "A". While most people would agree that those aren't great names...Americans can't imagine such a law --we do what we like around here..and we would not like it if the government said we can only name our kids John and Sara. This unique naming trend is probably not over- I say have an open mind : )

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    Replies
    1. Hey, nothing's wrong with OLIVE! The rest I would never vouch for. ;)

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    2. Thanks for giving better perspective on some of these names and areas. It is great that we have the freedom name our kids whatever we want, but it is fun to laugh at some of the craziness as well.

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    3. I thank God every day that my mother named me "Jennifer." Even if there is always another Jennifer wherever I go. I would take that any day over Brylee, Neveah, Kynzee or any name on any of her lists

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  52. Sadly, bad names are everywhere now. We're military, currently living in New Orleans. On our base, I have a friend who just named her SON, Rhythm. (Yeah, how do you respond to that?) We also know a family who named their daughter Freedom and their son is... wait for it.... Admiral Justice.

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  53. Okay, I can't judge too harshly, I have a Delaney. And my husband chose the spelling of our Callie and Rylee.

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  54. At least they didn't take the J, X, Z and V and go with Jaxzov. Looks innocuous until you sound it out.

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  55. Just got my 3-year old's Soccer Camp roster this morning. Out of 99 kids, there are TWO with the first name Rowan. No clue on gender.

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    1. Rowan is actually a name with a long history (admittedly mostly as a boy's name, and it's now being used more as a girl's name). It's definitely more British than American. My daughter has a classically female first name and Rowan as a middle name.

      Delete
    2. Yes, Rowan is a classic Gaelic name going back hundreds of years. Rowan is a tree with red berries, and the name is supposed to mean "red-head".

      It has classically been male (think of actor Rowan Atkinson), but like so many other names is transitioning over to being used for girls.

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  56. From facebook, I have three friends with offspring named Dawsyn, Lucchese, and Chesney. These are all Oklahoma people, so I guess should just be glad they're not named Halliburton or Oil Rig.

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  57. I have a friend who named her little girl Indie. At least it's not spelled like the racetrack. Also my sister was considering the name McKaydee for her little girl. Thank goodness she changed her mind because...wait for it...she couldn't figure out how to spell it!

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  58. I'm a teacher, and I've taught kids named Comfort, Charm, Precious, Unique, Jazmyn, Jaszmynn, Preshine, Diva, Diamond, Haelei (pronounced Hayley), Trelis, Raevynn, Gucci, and TWO kids named Denim (one male and one female). Parents are out of control.

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  59. say what you want about Le-a, but my dear friend works as a pediatric ophthalmologist downtown here in Columbus, OH. He is also my son's eye doctor. Anyway, he said that he has personally had a patient with the name Le-a. It does exist. He also had another patient with the name Savior... a pale, pale, blonde haired white girl. He wasn't expecting it to be a little girl ;)

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  60. I went to schhol with a black guy named Yabut. My mom had always said that wasn't a word - I was so excited to prove her wrong!

    My sister is naming her baby Indigo. She wanted Echolalia, which is a speech disorder. Echo for short.

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  61. I know several of these families and these kids. Nice people, i agree, not a fan of made - up names, but .... Yikes.! You are brave.

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  62. This is hilarious!! Not that they are crazy names separately but I know I girl who named her kids Claire, Annette, and Reed. When she yells their names in order it is ClaireAnnette Reed. She did it on purpose.

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  63. This post is hilarious! My son has a boy named Sir in his preschool class. So Oregon has some crazy names too.

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    1. Sir - hilarious! And was his last name Mixalot? Because if so, I will drive to Oregon and hug his parents. I'm just picturing the teacher addressing him in class.. "Sir, it's nap time!" "Sir, put that down!" "Sir, stop hitting Billy" :)

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  64. Best friend named her daughter Eloise Rosemary and is naming her boy Ralph George. I feel like these children should come out of the womb with dentures, a cane and driving an oldsmobile

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    Replies
    1. Your friend has great taste in names.

      I'd love to know what your favourite names are.

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  65. My nephew's middle name is Drizzt. DRIZZT! I think it's supposed to be after a character in a book. I don't know why, but to me it sounds like a dandruff shampoo.

    My name - Jaana (pronounced like Jana) - is Finnish and should be pronounced Yaw-na, but if you address me that way I will consider punching you in the neck.

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  66. Have to defend Sergeant as a first name as Sergeant Shriver is one of the great americans of the 20th century being the driving force behind the creation of the Peace Corps, the creator of Jobs Corp and co-founder with his wife Eunice Kennedy Shriver of the Special Olympics.

    Now then, as for worst names, saw this one in the Sunday Times 7 years ago and it has stayed with me to this day.

    Fernely. And it was a dude. Now I can sort of see this is said dude was some British fop type but oh no, 100% American.

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  67. I had a student a few years ago named "Latrine."

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    1. Edit: This is in an inner-city high school in NJ.

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  68. You forgot to add Ruger to the gun list. I have a nephew named that and every time I say his name I feel like slapping my leg and whistling like I'm calling my dog.

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  69. My sister-in-law taught a girl named Syphyllis- pronounced Suh- Phyllis. A guy I teach with told me last week about a previous student named Female, pronounced Fuh- mol-ay.

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    1. DELETE. Please see "Related to Point 2" in the Discussion portion of the original post, then read this: http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp

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  70. OMH! -This is my first time commenting-so it's like a small novel....This is Hilarious!!! All I can say is that you need a subscription to a newspaper in the Vernal/Roosevelt area of Utah. You would be very impressed with the -ummm-creativity. ;) Between the rednecks, Indian tribe, oilfield families, and average joes-you get a variety. (None of this is meant rudely by the way!-I love where I live and love my friends and neighbors-even if they have intense names!)

    Example #1....little boy in my daughters class: Traylor Axel...
    #2...Next-and completely TRUE!-(check the Utah State birth registry database--has proof!) my brother's girlfriends given name was MormonBeauty. One word, Capital M capital B!! She preferred we call her Ivanha instead.
    #3--and finally...My high school yearbooks boasts kids that had last names such as: Mountain Lion, Leaker, Pooeygup, Weiner, UncaSam, Cuch, Luber, Dick, Wopsok, etc....so once you pair such choice last names with the uniquely selected first names...we had a lot of winners!

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    1. Oh dear...I must add # 4.
      Cute little red head boy i know with a cute little name--Chasen Danger

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  71. Love this list. I look forward to it every year!

    I do know plenty of non-Utah Mormons who have questionable naming skills (so maybe some of the popularity of these names outside of Idaho/Utah is due to Mormons living there?). But the worst names I've seen recently weren't Mormon. There's the girl I went to high school with who named her daughter Paprika (yes, the name of Mr. Salt & Mrs. Pepper's baby in Blue's Clues) and the girl in my daughter's chorus named Dejeuner (French for lunch). If she was petite we could call her breakfast.

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  72. There was a Mormon girl on the TV show "Say Yes to the Dress" named Duvae, because her parents wanted her to be a comforter (duvet). Wow.

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  73. I help out at my daughter's school. There is a little girl there named Taeler. The thing that bugs we with crazy names is the fact that the schools teach these kids how letters and sounds are pronounced. Then their names go against all they learn. My sister in law has a Shaelynn. I thought it was a bit out there at first, but I do like it. At least it's not "Chayelinn (but you pronounce it Shaelynn)". If you need a pronouncation guide with your child's name it is probably going to far. Exception being foriegn names that we might not know. My niece is named Katya, which is Russian (her mom is from Russia).

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  74. HILARIOUS! We moved from Rexburg to Idaho Falls (but we're leaving the state/region soon!) I'm the primary chorister. At least 50% of the primary has names that start with C - multiple Colters, multiple Carters, multiple Coltons, CHADEN, CASEN... When choosing children to come up and participate in an activity, I simply point and say "YOU!"

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  75. Thanks for this post, as always. My year is complete.

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  76. This post made my day! I have recently come across some rather interesting names in my face book feed Gracyn and Graclyn (yes that's the spelling) for girls, Zion for a girl and a boy, Redder for a boy, Stratton for a boy, Golden for a girl, Kenadee for a girl, and Siniyah for a girl. I also knew a family who named all their kids by using some form of general authorities names, Hollyn, Hunter, Mckalyn, Ashlyn, Cannon, Monson. To each their own, I guess.

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  77. I was ordering food at my local In-n-Out, and the employee helping me was named Careshmeh. I should have asked her how to pronounce it. But I guess it's one that I'll just have to sound out. (Local=Utah)

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    1. I had a checker at Broulim's in Rexburg once whose name badge read "Kleigh." I asked if it was pronounced like clay. She said it was pronounced the same as Cayley but they "couldn't put the apostrophe in it."

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    2. That's awesome! I totally would have called her "Clay" too!

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    3. To that point... When are they going to bring back the apostrophe!? It needs to re-emerge in naming trends. I saw a M'Lyssa the other day.

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  78. this post is like christmas morning. and every year i think couldn't possibly be worst than the last... but it always is. i am dumbfounded.

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  79. I just came here to find the link because I'd been telling family about your name posts, and didn't realize at first that this is the brand new latest edition! Thanks for doing these. I always feel a little stunned after reading the lists. But I'm also saddened by how normal and common *some* of the names sound to me.

    My kids have a school friend with the middle name Danger (like the Chasen Danger mentioned above, I guess). When my kids told me this, I said, "So he can say, 'Danger is my middle name--literally!'" (My kids had to have the joke explained to them.)

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    1. Ack! It appears I'm spreading rumors--I asked my kids and they said they don't actually know a kid named Danger. So now I'm thinking it was one of my neighbors that told me about a preschool friend of their child's. And I'm left with nothing of my own to contribute (since all the McKenzlees, etc. among my kids' classmates are old hat to me now).

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    2. Don't worry! You aren't telling stories! Our friends recently chose Danger for their daughter's middle name. And, yes, it's so she can say Danger is her middle name.

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  80. (To clarify, I meant I'm saddened that some names sound normal to me because my kids' classmates' names here in Utah Valley have desensitized me.)

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  81. Regarding "related to point 2," I actually have met a woman named Clitora. She goes by Tory.

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    1. Girl child delivered by a Dr. in our practice was named Chlamydia - because it "just sounds so pretty!" Give me strength :o{

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    2. Oddly enough, a sister in my ward (Shilo), whose husband (Jared) served as scout leaders with me for a few years, helped deliver a baby girl with that name during her nursing clinicals. Same story, so I would be willing bet there is some merit to it. (Although according to Shilo, the woman changed her mind later after several family members expressed concerns.

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  82. Someone I know on Facebook named her twin boys Drexler and Riddyck. I facepalmed when I read those. And her older kids have such nice names.

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  83. This has made my day. Anyone that knows me,knows this is one of my biggest pet peeves. Made up names drive me crazy. I can understand that people want to be original,but they mostly just come off as "stoopid" (wink). I do have a name for you that was quite normal until you sound it out-- Anita Dick. Now that was quite name to be heard over the intercom at school! Every time our 6'4" tall principal called her to the office you could hear laughter all over the school.

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  84. I work as a secretary where kids come for appointments so these are all true and I see them on a weekly basis:
    Teariny (girl
    Diamond (girl AND a boy)
    Tiberius (boy)
    Aiyana and Iyanna
    Zayne, Xayden, Zander
    Jaden, Jaydon, Braydan, Kaden, Braden, Payton, Zayden
    Grasan (boy)
    Lelan (no 'd' , boy)

    And it has been confirmed to me by 2 friends that work for the state of Idaho that there is a child named...Abcde. Pronounced ''Absidee". No joke. I'm not sure on gender though.


    On a side note, I know a friend's daughter is named Sayla. I also know pets named Oakley and Riddick and Bentley. And have heard them all used as baby names recently.

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  85. I actually recognize a few of those names from my friend's children. (shudder)
    There's a little boy in my ward who's name is Gouverneur (pronounced like governor). There's also a little girl (different family) named Poppy, which actually kind of works since her sisters names are Ginger and Hazel.

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  86. Oh and I know a Draegon as well

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  87. Oh wow. It's crazy how after a while I'm not even shocked by these names because I've become desensitized.

    I went to high school with a Harry Coward - if your last name is Coward why oh WHY would you name him Harry? I also went to school with twins named Franco Frank and Frankie Frank. Their sister's name was Francine. This was in Louisiana.

    I went to college with a boy named Jedi Knight. And there's a little boy in my class named Legion. I guess his mom wasn't aware of the negative connotations with that one.

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  88. I'm about to have a daughter and I was toying with the name Greta. My mother in law texted me "Oh God, please reconsider!" Rude.
    I'm sending her this list and warning her I will pick one of these if she would rather I not stick with the nice classic name my husband and I like.

    By the way, I recently moved to Boise from Tennessee. I text names I come across to Tennessee friends. They think everyone here is crazy!

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    Replies
    1. Greta is a lovely name! I hope you used it.

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    2. I love Greta too, very cute and reminds me of The Sound of Music.

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  89. Oh, and I went to school with a boy named Spyder.

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  90. We were in a preschool music class with two little girls named Addysyn and Awstyn. I could not understand it. What do we have against vowels?

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  91. From among my 15-year-old's classmates:

    Malacie (female, pronounced Muhlacey)
    Makatie (female)
    Jaydn (male)
    Jadon (male)

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  92. I teach school in the South, and have had the following gems of names:
    LaTrel and RaTrel (twins... we called them Ra and La)
    a girl named Cha'Karis
    An Aalysha, Alesha, Alysha, and Alashia
    Brothers named Ja'Vonte' and Da'Quante'
    A student named Sir and his little sister Madame.
    And the piece de resistance....

    a boy named Trotame' (pronounced.... Tra-Name)

    Love this post! I started to follow your blog after reading it!


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  93. Oh my goodness! I am brand new to this and just had quite the laugh attack! Thank you THANK YOU for sharing these!!

    SaraM
    http://clochedeletoile.blogspot.com

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  94. I grew up with a family whose 3 kids were named Dusty, Windy, and Sunny. Last name - Fields. And yes, their names were really spelled like the weather terms (not Wendy or Sonny)... not that that would have made it better :)

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    Replies
    1. I went to high school with twin girls .... Mindy and Windy.

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  95. Oh La-a does exist right at my sons school along with Ovarie! I heard them myself at an honor roll assembly!

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  96. I don't live in Idaho or Utah but know a little girl named TigerLily, yes, like the Indian girl in Peter Pan only she is very much Caucasian. I also can't get over the name Tenaj, with a silent J.

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  97. This is hilarious! I found your blog through nataliesentiments.com. I taught 2 year old sunday school for about 8 years and the best name by far was Starfish. Starfish was a "she" and her brother named her, he was 2 when she was born. UGH. I also went to school with a kid name Rusty Steel. My mom teaches school and she had a kid named Little Red. First name Little, last name Red. Terrible.

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  98. Freya Esme Boo. I kid you not. If you Google it, it's easy to find proof. Her mom was soooo proud of the name she posted about it all the time.

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    Replies
    1. Freya and Esme are both real names. Freya comes from Norse and Esme comes from French. Neither bothers me. (And at least they snuck "Boo" in as a second middle name instead of making the kid live with it as a first name.)

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  99. Kierazleah, Za'Dariah, Za'Mandra, Zhandon, CyDoran, LaRohnda. Members of the same family, all of 'em.

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  100. I went to school with a girl named Tequila and another girl named Margarita, there are many other people I went to school with whose names are obviously made up and strange, but those two always made me laugh. (they were friends).

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  101. Princilla - she got the name because her parents wanted to name her princess but her grandparents wanted them to name her after a family member (Pricilla) so they compromised and named her PRINCILLA!?!?!?

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  102. My husbands ex-wife now has a little girl named Manik (as in, manic-depressive). Also a girl that I grew up with named her son Xac (Zack), but wanted to spell it Xaq and got talked out of it. Also, my in-laws have a neighbor that named their son Angus Remington (they live on a cattle ranch in the middle of north eastern montana, so I feel especially bad for poor Angus, and if I meet him, I think Ill call him Gus. haha)

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  103. Mque.(which is is actually pronounced Mike.)

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  104. I know a Kimbree, a Nevaeh,(Heaven backwards) and a LaPiffany.

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  105. Oh my gosh, I'm dying!! This sounds like my class roster! (I teach Kindergarten in Murray, UT.) My newest? Mahonri. Yup. MuhHahhnRI.

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    Replies
    1. uuugggghhhhh. I vomited a little in my mouth

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  106. In Mesa, AZ I knew a girl that was named Airryanna.

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  107. In SD I went to school with a girl named Jaunna (pronounced johnna)

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  108. I'm going anonymous here...don't want to hurt any feelings. I love classic, correctly spelled names. Natalie-Greta is beautiful!! Anyway here is my contribution to the list of names that make me scratch my head. I know each of these children personally.
    Tug
    Hanley
    Tesla
    Meadow
    Pepper
    Treslee
    Tiger
    Wishlee
    Zayden

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  109. Sadly, about a half dozen of those names can be found in my extended family, and another dozen among my friends' kids. Some "favorites" from my eastern Idaho neighborhood: Tyrus, Koeda, and Ocean (brothers); Maverick (his mom is currently expecting and I'm very afraid); Daxtyn, and Tinnian. And my daughter's soccer team features a cute little girl named Dazy. I kind of like Daisy, but Dazy? sigh

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  110. Can't believe they passed up Jaxzvon as a name. Just one extra letter and he could've been that much more cool.

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  111. Anyone notice this year's names are more Hunger Game of Thrones-ish? At least we've moved on from The Bachelor, right?
    PS
    My step children are Vinenzka and Matte-Elise (pronouced Mad Uh Lease). My husband hangs his head at the list ever year.

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  112. I have a friend whose son is Rock. Not bad until you consider his last name: Starr. Really? Rock Starr? Can you imagine trying to get a job with that on your resume!

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  113. I have a friend in CA with children named Draven (boy), Zilla (girl), Joon (girl), and Rebel (boy). My best friend's name is Kyle(girl) and she has a hard time convincing people it isn't Kylie.
    Growing up, I had dance teachers (sisters) named Skye and Cinnamon. Old hippie parents, and it suited them fine. Skye is more run of the mill than Cinnamon, but at least it was the real spelling of Cinnamon.

    My daughter has traditional name, Eleanor. I'm excited to see the class lists when she starts school in a few years, since I personally haven't had much experience with any really crazy names.

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  114. Oh my... love these lists!! I work in a very large NICU, and could fill pages and pages with the, um, 'original' names I've seen. In any given week we have anywhere from 3-8 names that include an apostrophe. One poor child had 3 in hers!! By far though, my favorite was a baby boy named L8ton. Sound it out. That poor child.... can you imagine him filling out test forms in school? "Teacher, there's no bubble for the number in my name!" He had very young parents though, so I can only hope grandparents or someone convinced them to change it. For the 3+ weeks he was with us though, that was his legal name on all forms!

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  115. I live in So. UT and in only 3 years have collected almost 400 "weird" names from here. My collection only has legit names, not names from other countries or nicknames. Just this month I came across Rustin Bucket, Bricken House, Blazen, and Mountain Man (last name starts with M as well-- MMM). These guys were all in their 20's. I guess if they were named today all the i's would be replaced with y's.

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  117. I am sure I will get stoned for this comment, BUT.... although some of these names are quite terrible, at least it breaks up the monotony of Emma, Mason, Bella, Jacob,Sophia,Noah ect. Growing up it seemed like every other girl was named Brittany and every other boy was named Ryan... Among my daughter's peers its going to be Bella and Jacob.

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  118. My GF and I were discussing baby names today and came up with a list of normal names. I'm so glad she shares my disdain for "unique" names. (http://dyslexicrantsandraves.blogspot.com/2013/06/baby-names.html)

    I love names that have an actual culture attached to them, like Nikoli, (Russian) Alexi, (Finnish) or Janne (Finnish) (All boys names, BTW)

    My sister is named Cherryl, spelled the way my mom's great-aunt spelled it. (In the 19th century, so it's a bit dated)

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  119. Overheard at a park in Southeastern Idaho:
    The 'Fancy' Mom: "Cascade! Cascade! Come here, honey!"

    And then there was the 'not-so-fancy' Mom who was also yelling for her daughter: "KirklandSignatureLiquidGelDishwashingDetergent! Come here, sweetie!"

    OK, OK, I may have exaggerated slightly on the not-so-fancy mom one, but the first one was completely and unadulterated-ly true.

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  120. I'm from southern Idaho and went to school with a kid named Gunner, and he had a brother named Montgomery and a brother named Caliber.

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  121. Although it is getting better/worse, I will say that Utah/Mormonland has a pretty long cultural history of "unique" names. Does anyone reading this still go to BYU? Does the older woman named 'Rlene still work at the career services desk in the Wilk? I mean... was the "A" just too tedious to write out? The apostrophe was SOOOO much easier?

    And where does the old tradition of La____ names (also for men) come from? LaVerle? LaRoy? etc.

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  122. When I was on a soccer team as a kid there was a player named Rocky Beach. He had sisters named Sandy and Windy!

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  123. I work at a Walmart in Logan, Utah, and I swear that while I was working one day, and lady came by speaking unaccented American English to her children, one of whom was a boy she was calling May-Sue. It probably wasn't spelled that way, but it's how it was pronounced. I'm comfortable with the idea that the name came from the tradition of a culture that speaks a different language, but it didn't translate well into English if that's the case. I came so close to turning around and saying, "you know, I hear that life's not easy for a boy named Sue," but I thought that was the sort of thing that could cost me my job. So I didn't. But I thought it.

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  124. I love this post every year! And I just have to add that I know a little girl named Secret Love (first name, middle name). No joke. I know her mom and all their kids have hippy-ish names (River, Meadow, etc.) but this was a little much. Her OB (who is also my OB) told her it sounded like a stripper's name. I have to agree.

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  125. At my grandmother's funeral in rural Texas I met a guy who was legitimately named Xerox (yes, like the printing/copying company), who was apparently good friends with my dad growing up. He was apparently named that because when he was born, his parents decided he looked like a "Xerox copy" of his father.

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  126. I have a family member with 2 boys (another on the way) named Zane and Zayden. ZAYDEN! I can only imagine what that poor third kid's name will be... Zypplyn, probably.
    Oh, and my sister had a friend growing up named Ariika (Erica).

    Truly Utah is where dignified names go to die.

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