Wednesday, March 25, 2009

NAMES 2008!

It has arrived! The Annual Madison Memorial Hospital Birth Announcement Extravaganza is here. I spent an hour last night cackling to myself and taking notes. Let’s have a look back at the best of the worst Rexburg baby names of 2008, shall we? (if you’re lost, check out the second half of THIS post)

The “To-Be-Expecteds” (ie, mix-n-match): As bad as they are, we knew these were coming.
Harlee (THREE little girls named this. I really wish whoever had decided this was okay had run it past me first)
Blah blah blah. I got sick of these names. There are dozens of them, in every variation imaginable. Eventually I quit writing them down.

The “Sound-it-Outs”:

The “Completely Unnecessary Extra T’s”: Interesting emerging trend.

Hilarious Twin Combinations:
Boisen and Payah (is that like, someone from Boise?)
Brinley Sue and Augree Lynn
Tylenn Braylee and Tyken Raylee (my favorite of these three sets, obviously. Though Augree is pretty fantastic, too.)

Aaaand the moment we’ve all been waiting for….the “What the EFF?!?!!’s”:
Creedon (cretin?)
Chasitie (not a typo…cha-sit-ee)
a ‘Tavian’ and a ‘Tayvian’, two boys who are seemingly unrelated. How is that even possible??
Taicyr (?)
Taggart (HAHAhahHahaAHA)
A poor boy named Traigyn Azure (GYN?? GYN?? Are you serious??!)

Please note: There were also THREE Ridges, TWO Drakes, and a little boy named Ashtynn. Plus, remember how many Braxton/Braxten/Braxtyns there were last year? It’s been replaced by Ryker. RYKER!! As in Commander Riker from Star Trek. There were FOUR babies named that in Rexburg last year! Every time I ran across another one, I screamed even louder than before. Ask Jon. Amazing.

PS- If you knew I had a crush on Commander Riker circa 1992, you’re a winner. Corinne liked Wesley Crusher. Annie liked Data.
PSS - My spell checker is going nuts.


  1. Data? Okay that explains a great deal. But could these parents please take another 5 minutes and visualize their child's resume being shredded, while the normal names get the good jobs? This is truly a great yearly event!

  2. I had a kid come into our center named Diareece. You want to name your kid something that sounds like excrement?

  3. i know the names were funny, but i'm totally stuck on the annie liking data thing. seriously? lol.

  4. Yipee, yipee, you have just made this name snob's day. These are truly the best (uh worst) names ever and how joyful that they are all in one place for me to gafaw at. How do you spell gafaw? Maybe someone will name their kid gafaw and we'll find out the proper spelling! I spend a lot of time at elementary schools and see the results of this craziness. How do you keep track of the haylee, bailee kaylee and the five different spellings of each. Or the smorgasbord of madisyns, or madisons. We have an actual nephew named Tavian. check that out.

  5. I think I made fun of every name on that page!! And when I think of names...I seriously think about "are they going to be made fun of because of their name?" "They will have to be all grown up with this name...will it fit look good on a business card?" LOL I can safely say that my first born is normally named. My second...its a little weird. But I love it!

  6. That's hilarious! I guess I'm just kind of old fashioned?!

  7. wow, a real heath ledger fan, and a couple of trees...very interesting...

  8. On the upside, genealogical research is going to be a snap for our great-great-great-great grandkids.

    "I'm looking for the records of one Taicyr Creedon Jakolby."

    "Which one? There are hundreds of entries for that name."

  9. Okay, yeah, some of these (most) are awful. But some of them are actually real names, usually derived from foreign languages, that have meaning.

    Taggart, for instance (which you find particularly funny for some reason), is a Gaelic name meaning "son of a priest," and is not uncommon in Ireland and elsewhere.

    Or are all non-traditional, non-American names reason to laugh?

    1. Makes me think of Commander Taggert from Galaxy Quest. That thought made me laugh.

  10. Okay, I'll give you Taggart. I typically use one site to check the legitimacy of names and it was not listed. But more extensive research proves you right.

    Also, not all non-traditional names are reason to laugh. But completely made-up names are.

    1. Taggart is a last name. I have relatives with the name of Taggart, so it's not made up. I don't think I'd ever name my kid that though. :)

  11. This is fantastic!! I'd put up $5 that Taggart is named after one "Dagney Taggart" a'la Ayn Rand and not the Irish name.

  12. This is barftastic.

    seriously...what are people thinking? your kid is not going to be that unique in a kindergarten class full of other kids with "unique" names. I do not understand this trend of throwing random letters together and trying to sound them out into some sort of name.

    Husband and I are thinking of naming our first child Ethan, with a silent "g" on the end. So, Ethang. "The 'g' is silent," he will have to tell his teachers over and over. Ain't nothin but an ethang baybeee.

  13. THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS POST. Everything you wrote needed to be said.

  14. These are hilarious! As a teacher I run across crazy names all the time. A new one (though not at my school) is La-a. You'll never guess......It's LaDasha. That;s right; you pronounce the dash. I laughed for 5 solid minutes over that one.

  15. Just blogged about your post. Thanks :)

  16. so funny! Diareece just sounds awful. And i love the sound-it-outs. if it took a minute for me to figure those out, imagine a kid just learning to read and spell. it'll totally mess them up! did you see the idaho falls paper with all the names? I noticed tons of ryker and rykens

  17. Diareece must have a sister named Latrina, a name I recently heard of on a name blog.

  18. Great post. I have a lot of opinions about names. Unfortunately, my grandaughter's name(s) break most of my rules.

  19. I don't care what you all think, Data is STILL hot.

  20. Two best lines:

    1) Corinne liked Wesley Crusher (that explains a lot).
    2) My spell checker is going nuts.

    This post is awesome.

  21. Spencer SandstromApril 9, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    Great Post! Really quality stuff!

    Please everyone join the "Stop Giving Your Children Stupid Names" group on facebook:

  22. Thanks for the names! As one having a very rare (but thoroughly authentic) name myself, I will throw some stones and say that parents who give their babies trendy and/or misspelled and/or made-up names are putting their child in for a world of pain. Having an authentic name is survivable, as it has a compelling back story; I feel for the kids who not only have to sound their names out for others, but then go on to explain that it doesn't mean anything.

    I suspect that at some future point, we will look back on this brief era of baby name madness in horror and wonder how we could have ever gotten to the point where we thought that giving a daughter a misspelled version of the mermaid's name from "Splash" was not only acceptable, but clever. I wonder if we might have an entire generation who go by middle names and nicknames or get name changes outright . . .

  23. One postscript, in reading another blog on this subject, it occurred that the wave of "creative" names is likely a reaction to an era of extreme uniformity of names in the 70's and 80's. If I had a dime for every Brian, Ryan, Matt, and Scott I met, or a dime for every Julie, Anne, Holly, and Emily, I would have many, many dimes.

    A whole generation grew up swearing that their child would not suffer under the name Brian in a high school with two hundred other Brians; and so named their child Conner, who now will have to suffer through high school with two hundred other Conners/Connors/Kohnurs/Konners/Konnurs. But hey, at least they're spelled differently!

  24. I love it. Let these people make up wacky names. Then I can give my kids traditional names and they won't sound over-used. It used to be that we would recycle names from a our grandparents generation. Whatever floats your boat.

  25. This is Darcy. I had a crush on Picard, a man-crush/bromance if you will. What the eff is wrong with these people, I mean seriously, "let's name our kid something original(and by original I mean ridiculous) at the risk of creating some kind of monster who will likely need a lot of medication and counseling AND end up killing us later on in life" (that's certainly what they must have been thinking). And what was it Auger? Enough said. This just affirms my belief that people are stupid and don't deserve to live.
    The end. Oh wait, Taggart?! Like a boggart from Harry Potter?! What the F!?!

  26. Oh, man. Thanks for the blog fodder.

  27. I like names that are out of the ordinary, but definitely not ridiculous names.

    When I saw Taggert, I thought of captain Taggert on Galaxy Quest.

  28. You're not the only one to remark on ChasITy and her variants:

    It was once as popular as #344. O.O

    To put context to that, names 343-345 for 2007 were the classics Michaela, Genevieve, and Meredith.

    Chasity. Sheesh.

  29. Just stumbled upon this post and I had to give you kudos for it... this is hilarious! I used to live in Utah and saw so many terrifying baby names, this brought back memories.

    I forwarded the link to this post onto my husband and he said:
    "I can't believe I never saw the 'Completely Unnecessary Extra T's' trend coming. And why would you name your kid Ryker when you could go with Jean-Luc or Geordi? That just doesn't make sense."

    I'm sure he's passing it around to others in his office now. Thanks for the great laugh... I needed it!

  30. Okay, maybe I'm just a film nerd, but no one made a Blazing Saddles reference in regards to Taggart. He must have super young parents. Wait, I take that back - he just has MORMON parents, so naturally they'd NEVER have watched that gem!

    Seriously, Taggart is hilarious regardless of how "authentic" it might be in other countries. Dorcas is popular in Ireland as well. Guess what - I'm still going to laugh unabashedly whenever I hear it.

    1. Dorcas is a variation of tabitha, which is hebrew for gazel.

  31. I was shown this page because my son's name is Ryker (born in 2009). It is a form of Richard, but maybe you knew that. I have a friend who also named their son Ryker, and chose it because they wanted to name their son after a family member (Richard). I can laugh at this and still be happy with the name we chose for our son. I like all 3 of my kids' unique names. This blog post (and all the other baby names posts) are hilarious!

  32. Already commented (twice) in NAMES 2011, but haven't read through 2007-2009. And I just remembered: I know two girls who named their daughters Clover. Seems more like a name for a pet than a child. I'm not wrong, am I?

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