Wednesday, December 19, 2007

...And She Was Never the Same Again.

I was recently reminded of a hilarious true event. For the protection of the person involved, the name has been censored. My friend and I were on our way to Provo for EFY the summer before our sophomore year of high school. My grandparents, Sweetie and Poppie, live in Salt Lake City, so *******, my mom (who drove us from Gardnerville, NV to Provo), and I stopped at their house for a night before we had to be in Provo for registration. Sometime in the late afternoon, my friend excused herself to use the restroom. Well she was gone for a long time. A really long time. It got to the point where we all were kind of wondering aloud if everything was okay. I’m talking an absence of, like, 20 minutes. So I decide that maybe I should go check on her and see if everything is okay. I kind of creep around the corner (afraid that she might be sick in there…I have an extreme fear of vomit/people vomiting/animals vomiting/vomiting in movies/any sort of gagging noise whatsoever). So I’m creeping along listening for any strange sounds that might indicate it’s time for me to run away with my hands over my ears…but to my surprise the bathroom door swung wide open. And standing there, with the most stricken look on her face, was my friend, *******. SOMETHING had happened to her in there, but she couldn’t tell me what it was until we were out of earshot from my mother and Sweetie. She practically dragged me downstairs by my arm so she could relate the entire story to me. She had undertaken the challenge to flush a neutrally buoyant turd, but the thing wouldn’t budge. Every time she flushed, it bobbed around in the current, but always held on. We decided that something that doesn’t float OR sink, (but hangs around somewhere between the surface and the bottom) “flinks”. The stubborn little turd involved in this incident has been known as “The Flinker” ever since. After about 5 or 6 flushes, my friend claims that she got so desperate, she even looked to the window…but thankfully with that last flush, it finally gave up the ghost and disappeared down the hole, leaving my friend and I with this story that makes me laugh out loud every time I think about it.

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