Wednesday, August 10, 2011

For your Wednesday

Yesterday was my mom's birthday!! I am not a good daughter, because I'm only just now blogging about it. Additionally, the pie we got her wasn't even my idea (but don't I get points for at least knowing her favorite kind? Razzleberry, and don't you ever forget it). Happy birthday, mom! You're the best, even though you once called me Jerry.

Jon and I killed two birds with one stone with that pie. We've been craving a berry pie ever since we were in Heber a couple of weeks ago and The Hub, a local diner, was advertising one made with FRESH strawberries. The whole group of us - me, Jon, Corinne, Annie, and Annie's husband Steve - talked about getting that pie for two days. On the second night it was decided we couldn't go another second without it. Pajama-clad Corinne had a sudden epiphany and declared (to me), "Hey, look. You have clothes on, and I can drive. That's everything we need to go get some pie". I immediately shared that line on Twitter and it was a major success, tying with that other tweet I did that two people favorited.

Steve was ultimately elected to make this highly anticipated pie thing happen on our last night in Heber. Six minutes after he walked out the door, the following exchange took place on my phone:

So the fresh strawberry pie thing didn't happen that night, which is not to say we didn't pile into the car (Corinne still in her pajamas) to go pick a different kind. It was not as easy as it sounds - a long process involving the credit machine seizing up because of a waitress on a ten-minute-long personal phone call ("I miss you, too! ...No, I'm just at work...") while six people waited in line to pay for their meals. The pie wasn't even that good, anyway. Boooooo, The Hub restaurant in Heber Utah, BOOOOOOO!!

Other noteworthy things that have happened in the past couple of weeks:

  • I chewed out a lifeguard at the new Rexburg swim center. I'm not a confrontational person, especially in public, but she deserved it. Two little kids were stuck inside a tube, sinking into the water and too scared to let go of the handles and swim underneath to free themselves. They passed right by TWO lifeguards, one of which was on duty and the other of which walked right past, staring, before their mom heard their screams and jumped in to save them. When I informed the 12-year-old lifeguard of what had just happened five feet from her post, she responded, "Oooohh...I-I'm sorry......I just got here....."
  • At Relief Society on Sunday a girl no older than 20 introduced herself and said she was staying at the So-and-So's for a few weeks. The RS president replied, "Aren't they just wonderful? They are so hospitable, it seems like they've always got someone staying with them. They're like a halfway house..." and YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN the backpedaling when she realized she'd just publicly accused this visitor of drug addiction. And that is how people are offended at church.
  • Annie's old childhood best friend's mom was arrested for battery. That's all we know, because that's all that was published in the police section of the local paper and I couldn't find anything else by way of Google search, though not for lack of trying. Jon received this news with no small measure of glee, because he had a bad golf experience with the lady's husband a couple of years ago. The guy had designated himself the keeper of the scorecard and promptly added strokes to Jon's total after each round. "Four? No, I'm pretty sure you got five." The hope is that his wife gave him the beating that Jon had daydreamed about that entire day on the course.



  1. that golf thing is actually quite hilarious!

  2. i do that but the opposite... i minus 1-4 strokes

  3. Hey good post Jerry.

  4. "boo the hub restaurant in heber utah, boooo!"

    i loved that line.

    you're a comical genius and you beat the crap out of me on words with friends.

  5. He is sooooooo lucky his wife battered him, cause I was just about to plan a savage beating with some cool weapons i.e. pool ball in a sock.

  6. Or with that weapon you "invented" when we were dating...a glove with pins sticking out of the fingers to grab people with.