But then I up and moved to Idaho, and the cyst swelled right up. This was not okay with me. I went to the dermatologist this morning.
Just as Jon predicted, the doctor drained my eye. He injected the lump with lidocaine and scalpeled the S out of that cyst. I couldn't feel any pain beyond the needle, but there was plenty of squeezing in addition to ripping sensations. Eventually what I'd thought was a cyst was worked out - it was actually a rice-sized calcium deposit.
The whole thing was fascinating and I wanted explanations throughout the entire process, but afterward when I began ruminating over the horrible sensations I'd felt and thinking about that needle going into my swell-eye, it sort of turned my stomach. So when Jon and my mom stopped at Cafe Rio right afterward for lunch, I abstained from food, forlornly iced my incision, and attracted stares.