Monday, March 09, 2009

Neighborly love

Well, it’s Monday. I can’t complain though because we had a really great weekend in Phoenix. Friday night we had delicious Mexican food for dinner and spent time catching up with my aunt Stacey and uncle Dave. On Saturday, Jon and I went to the temple and afterwards we all went on a short hike. Jon caught (and was bit by) a green racer snake. It was a little too cold to swim in their pool so we spent some time in the jacuzzi instead. Penny was hilarious – standing on the edge, she kept putting her face in the water trying to catch the bubbles in her mouth. Inevitably she started pawing at the swirling surface until she fell in. I scooped her out, but apparently she didn’t mind the warm water because she kept diving back in and swimming around, all the while chomping at the bubbles Pac-Man style. I laughed until I cried. That night my aunt made us a gourmet steak dinner and Jon ate at least six pounds of beef. After church, lunch, and an accidental nap on Sunday we headed back to Tucson. Which brings me to the next point of this post. Remember this neighbor? Could he possibly be any more frustrating? Answer: Yes. Before leaving for our weekend, I stood just outside our door with a pen and a piece of paper and took inventory of all his junk that has taken residence in our entryway. Here is the list – no hint of exaggeration:

2 strollers
2 of those big plastic kiddie push cars
1 SteamVac
1 small yellow chair
An upsidedown broken bike
A scooter
Inflated pool toys (notice the wording – I didn’t say “inflatABLE” pool toys, I said “inflatED” pool toys)
A ‘fun noodle’ pool toy

This crap heap has been slowly accumulating over the past few weeks. In addition to these constants, there is on occasion a nice garbage bag full of noxious diapers sitting out there for hours at a time. You know, in case their next-door neighbors happen to enjoy the smell of human fecal matter greeting them after a long day’s work.

Well, since I’ve already complained on this particular person before, I made Jon do it this time. His exact words to management were “Tell our neighbor to clean up our entryway, it looks like a junkyard”. That was right before we left for Phoenix. Upon arriving home Sunday evening we were teeming with anticipation. Did management take our complaint seriously? Was everything spic and span? Nope; Even better.

Someone spent at least three minutes shuffling things closer to their wall. Look at how nice those strollers look, all lined up like that. And you hardly even notice the vacuum sitting there now that it’s partially blocked by the yellow chair. And really, I could not even think of a better place for that broken bicycle. Very feng shui. Great work, neighbor. Great work. Just kidding! I’m being facetious! Remember when I was pretending to be impressed with my neighbor’s organizational skills?? That was funny. No, actually, I’m not impressed. In fact, you could say that I’m the exact opposite of impressed. I’m non-impressed. We really do win for the worst neighbors ever. As if it’s not bad enough that he looks in through our windows. He’s also a GROSS SLOB. Ha! Take THAT!

So what do I do at this point? Complain to management again? Continue kvetching to Jon every time I have to look at it? Leave a passive-aggressive note? Slowly begin making their stuff disappear? Call it in as a fire-hazard? (That was Corinne's suggestion. I like the way she thinks.)

PS – I guess in all fairness they DID get rid of the pool toys. And either the scooter is gone or it’s not visible from this angle (my guess is it’s in front of the bike alongside that wall). BUT THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.


  1. I vote PA note. And then please send it in.

  2. lol that's terrible. what would make the whole situation worse, is if their kids were ugly. or loud and unkempt AND ugly.