Texts out of Context: Episode IX

[Brief explanation and all previous installments here.]
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Tell her hello! In her good ear, of course.

Did you add a pickle

Thanks for knowing everything!

Proverbially yes

I’ve decided that my baby is built like a can o beans.

Goin to yobar

You better cause I have nice kneecaps

Omg. Jon’s pants.

Dogs are a ridiculous chore

I’m stumped on that yogurt trivia question…you better give me another clue!

Me neith

Dad called me Anthony in a text and I said at least it wasn’t as bad as Jerry.

Duh! I’ve been looking for girl scouts like a kidnapper lately and I would even accept free dog poo because I love anything free so much. Probably.

I started a random game and sort of panicked when I saw it. It was a wallet.

It is crazy outside.
Penny hates it.
Got hailed on.
It hurt real bad.

Haha gessie.

I did not sleep well and I am all farty and bloated dot com

How’s your job (yob) treating you these days??

That container you brought home smells like a gym bag, woof

Yarp

Exactly. We already call it the dump bathroom. Will improve our marriage.

Is your super-tacky acting up?

Get this – my dad almost wore a tie that had tiny “u’s” and tiny screws on it. He thought it was just a pattern, not that he’d be implying screw you to everyone he talked to. [I know this is 'texts out of context', but this one is exponentially funnier if you know that her dad is an LDS area authority.]

I have not made a real spelling error since nineteen eighty six.

His pants fell down.

[Aaaaaaand my favorite in this installment...]



Why the eff am I getting emails from the church book store