1) Jon sneezed in Best Buy on Saturday and his gum came flying out of his mouth. It skipped across the floor a couple of times before coming to a stop. Some chick looked at it, then at Jon, in sheer disgust. He plucked it off the carpet and threw it in a nearby trash can. I laughed for an hour.
2) SOMEONE PLEASE PUT A STOP TO THIS TREND BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE
[Pictures redacted cuz I read an article about someone being fined for posting images without consent, and I most certainly didn't ask the photographers for consent, and I don't wanna get fined. They were images of self-indulgent shirtless dads holding their newborns and I DO NOT APPROVE.]