Frank Slide

Two days ago we took a drive up the Crowsnest Pass to Frank Slide, which was one of the most incredible things I've ever seen.

"There was no warning. People awoke in the small hours of the morning to huge stones crashing through their houses. Many groped their way to safety in a suffocating fog of grey dust. One hundred seconds was all it took; in that time, the East face fell off Turtle Mountain, 90 million tons of rock slid down burying horses, mines, railways and the Crowsnest River. Seventy people died that 29 April 1903. It was the worst natural disaster to overtake Alberta. Stories are still told of the man who fought through the slide to flag down an oncoming train, or of the baby found, unharmed, perched on a boulder.

…Here we commemorate the awesome power of nature, and man's heroism in the face of it."

I felt an eerie reverence as we viewed the destruction and read survivors' narrations of the event. Interestingly, the account of the baby girl found on a boulder unharmed is a myth, as is the story that she was the lone survivor of the slide. It skirted the edge of town, sparing hundreds of lives.

My favorite story was the one of a man named Sid Choquette who immediately scrambled over two miles of boulders and debris to successfully flag down an approaching passenger train. Since the slide happened in pitch darkness on the night of the new moon, he had no idea what had even caused the destruction, or how far it stretched. In fact, it took DAYS to determine that the event had been a massive slide and not a volcanic eruption.

There's another account of three girls who were found alive in the top story of their home, which had been carried along by the moving debris below. Their parents and four brothers, sleeping on the bottom level, did not survive. The mass of limestone, mud, and trees is said to have moved like a dense liquid, and crashing boulders caused lightning-like flashes. Now, over a hundred years later, the mud and trees have disappeared and all that's left is a vast field of rock, including some boulders the size of boxcars.

I had chills for the majority of the time we were there, but especially when I read that the ancient Blackfoot and Kutenai tribes never camped near what they called "the mountain that moves". There are still fractures and fault lines in the strata of the remaining mountain and geologists say it's only a matter of time before there's another slide.

I know these pictures do it no justice. Here's an aerial photo (not mine) to give a little more perspective, but you should probably just go see it for yourself:

(source)

That is like, so sad

We certainly replaced the fuel pump, and it was almost immediately apparent after we picked her up that that had NOT been the problem.

You should have seen the lurching :(

Two+ weeks in Jon's Home and Native Land

Last week, Jon and I drove to Alberta, Canada for the July 1st holiday festivities. Incidentally, the Mazda's fuel pump died, so we're stuck here indefinitely. We can't really blame her - she turned 380,000 kilometers on the trip up and has never given us a problem. Before we knew what was wrong with her, Jon spent two days crying and stroking her dashboard, fearing the worst. Currently she's in the shop waiting for parts to be ordered, and a diagnostic test showed that these repairs should give her at least another 80 years on the road.

Anyway, in the meantime, here's what we've been up to.

Pretty little church somewhere between Cardwell and Boulder, Montana.

July 1st parade in Raymond. Nothing inspires Canadian pride like elderly mounties!

Sister-in-law Kenzie and me at the parade. At least four of Jon's extended family members approached us at the parade wondering why we haven't moved to Alaska yet. Somehow mentioning on my blog the possibility of a week-long trip to Alaska to visit my brother and his wife was turned into us MOVING there permanently. (PS - the Alaska trip has been postponed. My brother was deployed to Korea, so. We'll see if we can swing a trip when he gets back in August, but it all depends on Jon's test results.)

Kenzie's son, Nolan, running through the sprinkler

Picnic and stroll at Henderson Lake - Jon and Norah

DUCKLINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

Just chillin.

Then there was a road trip yesterday out to one of the most astonishing places I've ever seen - not included here because it deserves its own post. Stay tuned.

#marriage

Me: Gahhh!! Why didn't you tell me [pointing] THAT was on my face???

Jon: I didn't see it. [investigating] EW!!! What IS it??

Me: I don't know. An insect leg, I think.

Jon: Woof.

An introduction

My mom: Jessie, this is [some lady]. [Some lady], this is my daughter, Jessie. She's a Jensen, too.

Lady: Nice to meet you! Ian, or Owen?

Me: ................................................... uhhhh..............................

My mom: [staring at me like I'm crazy]

Christa: [staring at me like I'm crazy]

Me: [more open-mouthed silence, thinking to myself, "Neither...my husband's name is Jon"]

My mom, answering for me: Ian.

It took me another five seconds to realize the lady had actually asked "e-n, or o-n?" As in letters. As in how my last name is spelled.

I would like a do-over. Next time will be better, I promise.

Three things:

(Two of them have to do with recent incidents in fitting rooms, and one doesn't.)

FIRST: This one I mentioned on Twitter, but not everyone is in the loop of my Twitter (though I can't imagine why) and it's worth repeating. I was trying on clothes at the Forever 21 in Provo two weeks ago, and was only allowed 6 items in the dressing room. The attendant hung the rest on the other side of my door and said I could switch out for new items as I went along. Well a few minutes later I went out for a pair of capris, but they had vanished. Cause for concern, considering they were the only ones in the entire store. When I asked the fitting room girl if she knew where they went, she told me that another girl had asked to try them on and she GAVE THEM TO HER. I managed to keep the snark 60% contained when I told her to retrieve them. And then! The other customer had a bad attitude toward ME over the whole thing!!! She kept asking loudly and irritatedly when she could have them back. Finally I told them both I was buying them, marched them out of the fitting room, and hung them back on the rack.

SECOND: I happened to be in Salt Lake this year for my aunt Mariann's 10th annual magic show neighborhood block party. It was surprisingly entertaining, made HILARIOUS by the whispered running commentary between my friend Christa and me. Anyway, the best part of the entire show was when the magician called up an adorable four year old boy to help out with a trick. It proved a tad too difficult for little Cody to follow right from the very start when he was asked to put his hands on his hips. Cody raised his hands hesitantly, fingers spread, thinking intensely, before placing them uncertainly on his shoulders.

THIRD: Jon was taking his sweet time in the fitting room at TJ Maxx today, and the attendant was putting her limited small talk skills to use on me. First she demanded, "What time is it??" so unexpectedly that I flinched. Then she asked if I was going anywhere for "summer break" and I explained our upcoming trip to my husband's hometown in Canada. She wondered if Canada has a king and a queen, to which I replied that they have a Prime Minister, but they do put the queen of England on their money. Then I hid in the shoe section until Jon emerged from the fitting rooms, confused as to why the attendant had expressed an interest in his upcoming visit to London and commended him for his lack of a British accent.

Friday Miscellany

Summary: When I was in Utah last week I went rafting on the Provo River, and later there was a rainbow, and then yesterday Jon and I went shooting, and then I tried a new hairstyle and IT WORKED.

Rafting:

We "successfully negotiated" that bridge in the background, but another group wasn't so lucky. When we got there, a raft was wrapped around one of the pillars under the current and there were five sopping wet teens standing in the cold wind, shivering uncontrollably while their rafting guides fretted about the boat. Steve (Annie's husband, a certified river guide) was so mad. And the moral of the story is always raft the Provo River with Midway Adventure Company - no one else. Also, we gave the girls our dry sweaters to wear while we ate lunch and when mine was returned it smelled really weird. That's the last time I save a life!!!!

Rainbow:

Photo by Steve, edit by me

Shooting:

I forgot my tape!!! For my eye!! I can't wink my left eye so when I go shooting I always bring Scotch tape to do the job. The photo above is when I got the following brilliant idea:

Oh! Saddest thing EVER! I MURDERED A BIRD!! When I took a turn with Jon's 2-ton 12 gauge (that I can barely hold let alone aim and shoot), I hit the clay target and an innocent passer-by with one incomprehensible shot. I felt horrible.

Hairstyle:

From the side. Here's where I got the wherewithal. It's meant for weddings I suppose, but I thought it could be pretty for church, too. This was only my SECOND attempt - not perfect, but I was still amazed at how fast and easy it was. Looking at the directions I thought there was no way it would turn out how it said it would.

The front

The back. A couple of loose ends, but whatever. SECOND TRY.

Thoughts? Too fancy? Too Downton Abbey-ey? Naysayers are welcomed but will probably not stop this train. I've been searching for months for something different to do with my hair and this could be it.

kthxbai

And now we wait

When I left for Utah last week, I certainly had no idea that Jon would be taking the most important exam of his entire life in my absence. A very long story short, he had planned to take his test around the 28th of June, but because some lazy lump decided not to post an envelope, his options for test dates were very limited. So when a day finally opened in Helena for Wednesday, as in yesterday, he pounced on it even though it was a week earlier than he'd planned on taking the exam. We won't know how he did for six weeks, and in the meantime he's doing his best to relax and block out all thoughts of herpes, tumors with teeth, and which pathogens cause 'ricewater stool'.

Though he couldn't resist sharing with me one of the most horrifying questions. I can just imagine his eyes bugging out of his head when he first read it there in the testing center. Something about an elderly woman who couldn't poo unless she placed two fingers in her hoo-ha. In the retelling, Jon screamed, "What the hell kind of question is THAT??? We weren't taught that!!! Geez!!!!!!"

aka 'Pannus'

I recently realized that there has been a direct correlation between me owning an iPhone and the amount of pictures I take of Penny. So forgive me one moment while I become a crazy dog lady.

Giving Gunner a hug

Pre-haircut

Post-haircut

Typical face of adoration

Obviously, my favorite.

In conclusion, there is a perfectly good reason for her little nickname, and here it is:

(aaaaaand cue Jon singing "fupa, fupa, fupa dee-doo" to the tune of the Oompa Loompa song)

place foot in mouth

I loved this Newsweek article on Elizabeth Smart, and not just because it is allowing me to share this exchange that happened between Jon and me when we were very newly dating:

Jon: So, Elizabeth Smart wasn't very smart, was she?? HAHAHAHAHA-

Me: [Shock, horror, disgust, outrage] She's my second cousin!!

Jon: ...Wow, what are the odds?

Amelioration

The theme of my summer has been 'self-improvement', or at least I will say that for blogging purposes.

First, piano. My mom is an accomplished musician and has taught piano lessons for as long as I can remember. I never took advantage of her skills (something to do with not handling criticism well and being easily frustrated) so I taught myself instead, which is not recommended. I ended up like one of those kids who never quite learned how to read in elementary school. The ones who slipped through the cracks by fooling everyone into thinking they knew how. While I was playing upper-intermediate music, I had no idea what I was doing. My finger placement was all wrong, because I never paid any attention to where my fingers were actually supposed to go in order to play more efficiently. And I am a great memorizer and player-by-ear. These things combined were my downfall, because I couldn't play a piece unless I'd heard it before (sight reading was nearly out of the question), and once I'd played a piece a couple of times, I knew it by memory and therefore never became as familiar with the actual notes on the scale like I should have. I hit a wall. I couldn't advance. So in addition to scanning our family's archives, re-learning how to play the piano is my priority this summer. This time, my mom is teaching me.

Crafting. Okay, not really, that was misleading. But I AM doing A craft. I can't show you until it's all finished, but just know that I am very excited about it. When I bought my materials at Joann's fabric, the cashier girl asked me if I wanted to set up a rewards account. I told her that this is the only craft I'll ever do in my life. I am just not that sort of person. Pictures soon.

My skin. I am a mutant. I never had acne until a couple of years ago. Something finally had to be done. When I went in for my eye thing, I asked the PA to please, for the love of all that is good and holy, help me. He gave me a prescription-sized sample of some acne thing, incorrect verbal instructions for use, and sent me on my way. After three weeks with absolutely no results, I poked around online and realized his mistake. I then created a skin-care plan in my iPhone (lots of water, lots of moisturizer, etc etc). Now, a couple of weeks later, I'd love to say my skin is beautiful, but it's not. It didn't help that Jon made me discontinue use of my prescription when he saw the chemical burns it had caused around my jawline. Wtf, Epiduo. Wtf.

Driving. I hate driving, and I never drive by myself, but I wanted to spend a few days at Annie's before flying to Tucson out of Salt Lake so I decided it would build character to do the 5-hour drive (versus riding the shuttle). That was only the second time in my entire life I've ever driven that far on my own. It was not fun.

Hair. I never do ANYTHING with my hair other than wear it down and straightened. I've wanted to recreate this hairstyle and this hairstyle ever since I first laid eyes on them, but I am not talented enough to do it on my own hair (do not let that second one fool you. It is NOT a five minute hairstyle you can easily do to yourself). So I experimented on Annie, of course.

They turned out great (well, the one more than the other), but it only made me sad that I can't wear my own hair like that. At least not until I buy that hair slave I've been saving up for.

Riding a mountain bike. It was my first time, and so much fun despite my resulting poor aching bum. My brother-in-law Steve even lent me his own personal padded bike panties, and still. Pain. But it was a beautiful ride through the Provo canyon and I loved almost every second of it.

Bridal Veil Falls (is there a waterfall in North America NOT called Bridal Veil Falls?)




As you can see from the pictures, I've also lately been improving upon my time ever spent wearing neon. Which is to say, I've never previously worn neon, and now apparently I do. I bought that shirt off the clearance rack at Old Navy specifically with this bike ride in mind, but I have to fight the urge to wear it daily.

Taking photos in the auto mode of my point and shoot camera. What a skill! Annie and Steve wanted a few pictures on campus in honor of his BYU graduation, and I happily obliged.

We specifically chose this BYU sign because the slogan at the bottom, "Enter to learn, go forth to serve" was much better than the slogan on the OTHER sign, "The world is our campus". ("More like 'The campus is our world'" --Annie.)


My best friend Christa was there, too, which of course resulted in Annie and Steve being able to improve upon THEIR photo-taking-with-a-point-and-shoot-camera skills.

kthxbai