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Tuesday, April 03, 2012

NAMES 2011!

Every year I worry that Southeastern Idaho won't supply an ample list of truly horrendous baby names for my annual post, but it always delivers! Case in point, the anthology:

Names 2010!


And last year was no different. LET'S JUMP RIGHT IN. Here are the best of the worst names published in the "Born in 2011" newspaper insert for the Rexburg area (thanks again to my mom for mailing it!):



Up first, as always, is the Mix-N-Match category. Choose a first syllable that suits your fancy and pair it with an incompatible second syllable! It keeps people guessing! Everyone will admire your ability to string together random sounds!

Rhyelle
Taylee
Brenley
Lynlee
Braedyn
Raylee
Ryken
Maeleigh
and THREE babies named Brynlie (same exact spelling)

Next, the Sound-it-Outs. Do these resemble real names (or cities) phonetically? You'll have to sound-it-out, and sometimes bend pronunciation rules, to see!

Aydyn
Izibele
Lyncoln
Ayva
Gavyn
Gracee
Londynn
Maddilyn
Wiliam
Lynzee
Arryana
Ella Jaculyn (Jack-ewe-lynn?)

Invasion of the Ks (continued from last year):
Kellen
Kaimen
Kasten
Kayson/Kasyn/Kasen
Kayrie
Kenadee
Kimbree
Kaydee
Khloe LoAnn

Her mom's a 'Bachelor' fan!
Tenley/Tenely (yep, two)

Hopefully just a typo:
Sebastain

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose:
Riggins (middle name Klyde)

HEE-HAW!!!!!!!!!!11
Brayah

Aaaaaaaand, the "What the EFF??????s"
KeiseLyn
Tytan
Reggie Tayzlie
Zavan
Acelyn
Skylee
Auree
Razdyn
Jenikka
Paizli
Loey
Jerrick
Arkadian
Blyss (AGAIN!! There was a Blyss last year! People really ARE looking for name ideas in this thing!!!)

And let's have a moment of silence for the little baby boy named Boen. BOEN!

(Do you suppose it's pronounced 'Bowen'? Do you think kids on the playground, and in college, and by the water cooler will actually pronounce it that way?)



Discussion:


Point 1: One of my favorite parts of doing this each year are the anonymous comments I get from disappointed people outing their friends and family members as terrible namers. Keep doing that.

Point 2: I just thought of a possible inherent perk of invented naming - in five years, when little Razdyn wonders the meaning of his name, his mom gets to make THAT up, too!

Point 3: I feel sorry for the grandparents. A few months ago I sat in front of an older woman on a flight who was cheerfully explaining to her seatmate that she was on her way to visit her new grandson. When the lady asked what the sweet little dear's name was, the grandma clammed up and replied reservedly, "Slate." To some degree, his name diminished her joy. (It came out later that Slate was the younger sibling of Crimson, Indigo, and Sage.)

Point 4: Each name is accompanied by a photo of the poor child, and you've never seen more crocheted owl hats in your entire life. My mom included a note urging me to seek out "the baby with a giant lavendar cabbage on its head" and I think I found it:




kthxbai

471 comments:

  1. I love this post.

    Corinne (or is it Korynne? Korinn?) shared it on facebook. It's so refreshing to see someone else who outed not only awful names but the added bonus of the satellite-sized infant head gear.

    I am a photographer and almost never do newborn photos because I hate to tell the moms I refuse to take photos with "that hideous thing" on their head. I also wont place the babes in unnatural objects or settings: wrapped in cheesecloth in a galvanized tub, placed in a field.

    If you ever want a guest post rant about this or any related subjects I'll be happy to oblige. As one great pinner pinned once "I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation."

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  2. Gee and I used to hate my name cause it was so unusual.

    Here's one that should make your list. My cousin named her daughter Zharranda. Why? Cause it rhymes with Miranda. We just call the poor kid Z.

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  3. Poor, poor Ella Jaculyn. Let us all hope she never assumes the general authority naming convention and goes by E. Jaculyn.

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    Replies
    1. Was she born premature? (fist bite)

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    2. best comment ever

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  4. I busted out laughing at the very first name and still haven't stopped. Well done once again.

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  5. Aussumn, as per usual.

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  6. Jessie, you are my hero. Angie, you come in second!

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  7. This is so great! My friend is a teacher and one of her students is names Malaydee. Ah I cringe just thinking about it. Hello m'lady.

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    Replies
    1. Arika - you are a victim too, it seems

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    2. I know, it's true haha. I've been correcting people on how to say my name my entire life... no it's not A'reeka it's Erica. With that said I love my name and the spelling. I guess it could always be worse, I'm just glad it's not spelt Aericka.

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    3. The first pronunciation I thought of when I read "Malaydee" was "malady." The poor dear.

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  8. oh my. you had me at Rhyelle.

    what about the horrendous mixing of names? i have a friend who mixed her and her sisters names Miranda and Michelle, her poor daughter is named Michanda.

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    Replies
    1. Michanda?!? Are you freakin' kidding me?!? Holy flip. That one is fantastic. I don't know why I'm still shocked when I hear these names, but I seriously can't believe people name their kids these names!! Jessie - I'm a first time commenter, but man oh man, you are so hilarious. I want to be you!

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  9. My sister, bless her freaking heart, named her oldest son Tab. Not short for anything. She also has a Benton, Paisley, and finally Hobbes. I wish I was kidding.

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  10. 1st of all:: I HATE IT when the child becomes the accessory to the headband! Hate it! How can anyone think it's precious to hide the baby's face beneath such a gigantic flower? HOW?

    2nd: I have a feeling that Brynlie/Brynlee/Brynley is the new Megan. It seems to be growing in popularity at an alarming rate.

    3rd: Three girls I graduated with from high school named their baby girls Brielle in 2011. (One of them also has a little girl called Brynlee. Just sayin').

    4th: I'm happy to report that my brothers and their wives are all responsible when it comes to naming their children. Very pleased indeed.

    5th: I'm utterly terrified that there's gonna be a slew of babies born within the next few years with unfortunate names such as Katniss, Primrose, Peeta...and the rest of the weirdo names that come from The Hunger Games. I mean...Katniss? Really?

    6th: I don't care for the Twilight series AT ALL; I could write an entire book on why I loathe book four (what is that one even called? I can't for the life of me remember). Reason number one to hate that book? The name Renesme. If I ever meet a child called Renesme, I will have to run away so as not to punch her mother directly in the throat.

    7th (wow I have a lot to say!): I TRULY hope Sebastain was a typo. Sincerely.

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  11. Apparently I'm not done...

    Acelyn? I'm assuming it's a little girl, but what are they going to call her for short? Ace? That seems like a nickname for a little boy (albeit a ridiculous one).

    Jerrick? I have to think it's one of those unfortunate "combining mom's name with dad's" sort of thing?

    Also! My friend (who is getting his PhD at BYU) said there was recently born in his ward a child called Jimmer. His given name, mind you.

    I fear I could go on for quite some time about each individual name I see posted here, so I'll just stop now (and roll my eyes for the rest of the day).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thats my little brother Jerrick that your making fun of. Is this seriously what you do with your spare time? GET A LIFE! Instead of picking apart other people, start picking apart yourself.

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    2. Jerrick just for some reason reminds me of David Bowie's Labyrinth character Jareth. Which isn't exactly a bad thing (pause while I *ridiculous swoon* for a second), but I'm not sure that anyone should be naming babies so as to associate them with men who wear wigs and leggings AT THE SAME TIME. (now I'm going to have "Dance Magic Dance" in my head for the rest of the day)

      Also, I have a friend who has a sister named Jerrica. Or Jerricka. Or Jerrika. I can't remember. All I know is it's a perversion of a really great name invented by Shakespeare that *should* have two s's in the middle.

      And to Anonymous: Yes this is what we do with our spare time (because it's FUNNY).

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  12. WHAAAAT is with "Riggins?" You can't even shorten it with any dignity! The best you can do is Iggi.

    Also..."Sebastain" (HAAAAA!)

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  13. Is "Ryken" a mutation of the famous "Riker" fad of past years?

    Also, Rexburgians have a bizarre obsession with z's. And y's.

    ARKADIAN!? ARKADIAN?!!!

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    Replies
    1. perhaps said child was conceived at the arkadian apartments. (maybe the name has changed since i lived in rexburg)

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  14. My husband calls those erroneously huge flowers "satellite dishes." As in, "That baby must be getting HBO because there's no way her headband doesn't receive satellite transmissions."

    Gah, most of those names make me ill! All those kids are going to wind up in prison or on poles waving their tatas around.

    A kid in my daughter's preschool class is named ... get ready for it ... ROWDY. I literally stared at the roster for 5 minutes trying to figure out if maybe it was pronounced another way. But no. It's Rowdy.

    Thanks for the humor. Haha!

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    Replies
    1. Jenna, you had me choking with laughter. I think of those poor children later in life who have no recourse but to go to the court and change their names to something spellable and pronounceable. I've had to spell my name all my life and it is not that uncommon. My children got very normal names, but maybe it skips generations? Perhaps this unfortunate generation will be naming their children Joe, Sally, John, Susie. . . etc. Those girls names were ones I always wished I had
      Great Post, Jessie

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    2. The sad thing about the "normal" names now, is they've been so distorted for years that people now have to ask how you spell those...just in case it's Sue-Z! ;)

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    3. My cousin and his wife named their son ROWDY. (He is in Preschool, wonder if it's the same Rowdy, it's not like that is a usual name!?) Their second son is DANGER. That's his first name. Because they didn't want people to tease that "Danger" was his middle name. huh? They are currently expecting baby boy number 3... name not yet announced.

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    4. I have a friend who named her son rowdy and he's in pre-school too..hmm wondering if its the same kid...ha

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  15. I've never felt so grateful for a normal name. I think I'll call my mom today and thank her for that.

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  16. Oh I can't decide what's worse. The names or the flower. I know a girl named Brennicka with both problems. Also a girl named Paije. Ahhhhhhh.
    I look forward to this every year. Thanks again.

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  17. Being from Eastern Idaho I have to say that I have heard most, if not all, of these names and cringe everytime I look through the paper. I even worked for a pediatrician for a while and had to go out to the waiting room and try to figure out how to pronounce these names just to call the poor child back. This usually resulted in me butchering the name and getting evil glares from the parents. However, I will also shamelessly admit that I named my daughter Brynlee and love the name despite all the looks I now get living in Boston when people ask me what her name is.

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  18. The "What the Eff's?" kill me every time. I can't even.

    I peed my pants after reading Angie's comment.

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  19. I'm a follower just for this yearly post.

    It never disappoints.

    That cabbage is tooo funny.

    Poor kids. They will all need therapy. And their parents think they are so original. ROFL

    It's like the whole group of kids at the high school who all wear ALL black and black make-up and are smoking in the parking lot. They want to prove their originality, but they are clones of one another.

    It's all just wrong.

    This is a must share.

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  20. I also have to add that there is a child that goes to the same preschool as my daughter who is named "Bringit".

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  21. DangGina - my friend already named her baby "Rue" from the Hunger Games. It's possibly the least offensive name from the series, but STILL.

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  22. Talk about the invasion of the 'Y's - it is possible to name your child without a Y in the name wow!!

    Also, I peed my pants after reading Angie's comment.

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  23. there are really no words for this post. pure delight. and angie, you kill me. how do you come up with these things?!?! your witty-ness never ceases to amaze me. i want to know how these moms get these names passed off by their husbands... mine (whose fave girl name is plain and simple Leah) would NEVER allow such atrocities, if i were to ever lose my mind enough to suggest it in the first place.

    thanks for making my day!!

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  24. There is a child that shows up on my facebook feed occasionally (niece of a friend, I think?) who is named Pheliciti Grae. PHELICITI.

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  25. Bless you. Corinne said it best.. "It really is the most wonderful time of the year."

    One of my high school friends recently asked for name suggestions. She's having a girl. Most of the suggestions had a Southeastern Idaho flavor to them.

    Here are some of the many awful ones. (My favorites were the ones with accompanying tutorial on pronouncing the name):

    #1: brooklee, harley, kaiya (ky-ya is how you say that), kamee (k-me), kabree (k-bree), kinsley, mckinsley, mckelle, mckenya, braylee

    #2: Caris, Madyn, Senyca, Andrue, Presley....the list goes on and on!

    #3: Britlynn Ashton, Kapri Ashley

    #4: sawyer, kapri, hayze, layton, taytum, quin

    #5: Yardley Marie, Bethannie Lynn, Sumer

    Shudder. I hope all these poor little souls (in Idaho and beyond) find the strength to make something of themselves. And earn enough money to legally change their names.

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    Replies
    1. Can we add Sumer to the "hopefully a typo" (or misspelling) category? Summer is bad enough, but embedded enough to pass without comment.

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    2. Sumer- as in part of Mesopotamia? It drives me bananas that these people, in their attempts to appear smart, forget that words have meanings! No, I am being too judgmental. I bet the conversation went like this: "I love the Bronze Age, but we didn't want to name him Gilgamesh, so we went with Sumer."

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    3. I wish you could "like" comments on Blogger. Gilgamesh.

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    4. The sad thing here is that a lot of these people don't understand English orthographical conventions. They name their child something like "Sumer," intending for it to be pronounced "Summer" rather than "soo-mer," and give people nasty looks when they use the latter rather than the former pronunciation. Apparently not realizing or caring that the fault is squarely theirs because they've flagrantly violated normal conventions of English orthography.

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  26. Poor poor children!! Grandmas hate those names! I hate those names. That kid is going to end up being called Boener. We all know it.

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    Replies
    1. better boener than boner... good luck to him either way!

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  27. So I had to comment, especially after reading through all of the past years. I have mixed feelings on the posts... the names truly are awful (for the most part) and ridiculous. However, to say this is just a utah/idaho thing is not really true. Look at all the famous people who name their kids completely idiotic names as well. and I've heard of some pretty stupid names in my home state of CA.
    More than anything, it's a generation thing and the 'unique' trend right now. (but when something becomes a trend is it even unique any more?! ha!) Everyone's trying to be different, and Utah/Idaho just happen to have WAAAY more kids than the national average. You have more names to go through, so the chances are greater that you'll find lame ones.
    The fact that there are SO many kids born there every year also makes it hard on the parents... I'm trying to name my 4th boy right now and having a hard time. We want to walk the thin line between a name not everyone will have and a name that's not weird/made up/crazy. I think we've done a pretty decent job with the other three so far.

    Since we're talking names here... I also have a pet-peeves, well two really, with the whole naming trend:
    A. that people who name their kids 'traditional' names think they are so much better and more clever and more sophisticated than those who don't. Choosing a classic, old fashioned name happens to be the trend right now as well, so really, you are just as trendy as the 'unique' crowd. I know that if I were to go to the park right this minute, I would meet an Oliver, Jack, Henry, Ava, Olivia, Ella, Bella, and Sofie(a). So kudos to the parents who try to stay away from those.
    B. the naming of girls with boy names. I absolutely detest that trend. Let the boy names stay with boys...once it becomes a girl name it's forever tainted with femininity. Look at Kelly. What was a boy name long ago is most definitely a girl name now.
    Whew, that was a lot to write. I really loved reading the list and cracked up/gasped in horror pretty much the entire time. But naming is a pretty big deal to me so I have some definite opinions on it as well. :) Thanks for sharing these every year!

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    1. I have to say, being a 50 year old woman & growing up with "boys" name, I love (d) it. It had & has many advantages. When I was young & before Title 9, I got to sign up and play little league baseball, because they thought I was a boy & my parents had already paid for it. Other girls couldn't even sign up. As a professional working woman for most of my life I find that having a boy names has its advantages too. People never know who their dealing with or believe they're dealing with a man and the fact of the matter is men and women are treated differently in the workforce,
      But to each there own.
      We have 2 daughters and 2 sons all adults. 1 daughter has a unique girls names & the other 1 has a "boys" name and she loves it. The boys have hand me downs family names.
      I don't think naming your child should really matter to anyone else as long as you like it and you're happy with it.
      Most people I talk to on this subject actually like their name, but I have found most people don't like their middle name.
      To each their own....

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    2. I'm going to have to disagree with you because of one major problem. Giving girls boys names makes it really difficult to name boys. When masculine names become feminine our little boys look girlie so a few little girls can feel 'cool'. It's a maddening injustice. Especially when there are so may cute/fun/spunky little girl names available.

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    3. This post made me laugh so hard!! However, I have a "boys" name too. Sometimes I'm at a disadvantage, like when people don't believe me when I tell them my name is Johnnie. Yeah, my name is Johnnie Myria. I have had more than one person give me that look of "Are you sure?" But it makes me feel better to know that "Johnnie" is my 90 year old great-grandmother's name and "Myria", pronounced "Mariah", was my great-great-grandmother's name. So maybe it's just a tradition in my family to have bizarre made-up names. :)
      P.S. My favorite name on this list? Loey. I mean, seriously? It sounds like a toddler trying to say "Lori".

      Delete
  28. I actually really like some of the names you posted and don't see a problem naming your child something a little different. I would hate to only have Megans, Emmas, Brians, and Davids out there. That said, some of these are pretty hilarious, and the parents might have taken finding an original name a bit to the extreme. But I am a proud parent of a Brielle, and I love her and her name and I don't think it's all that strange. Sorry I didn't name her Emma like the other 100,000,000 people out there! :)

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    Replies
    1. Well,as long as you're sorry! ; )

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  29. Agreed on the "using a boy's name for a girl and ruining it for ever after for a boy." Case in our family - My husband's great-grandfather was named Madison, his father's middle name was Madison, as is my husband's and my son's. In the last 15 or 20 years, it has become a girl's name. So now no other little boy in the family will ever carry on the name of Madison - or everyone will think it is a girl!

    I like names that are a little unique, as long as they aren't weird. You certainly did find a huge list of the weird. Thanks for the funny post.

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  30. This is my response to people who use the "Stop saying this only happens in Utah and Idaho!" argument:

    http://jessica-jensen.blogspot.com/2011/05/aftermath.html

    (To paraphrase- I've never said that.)

    Loving these comments! No profanity yet - that's always a good sign (but it's only a matter of time).

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  31. LDS Living recently posted an article about "Mormon names". While people outside of Idaho and Utah might adopt these same naming trends, there are more Mormons in Utah and Idaho and therefore more "Mormon names". Here's a link to the article:
    http://ldsliving.com/story/68224-does-giving-your-children-mormon-names-affect-their-future

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  32. Someone I know has grandchildren with APOSTROPHE'S in their names. As in like THREE of them.

    The most recent addition to the family...

    Jax'n

    Yeah, weird right? And I wanna say that Jax'n has an older brother named Link'n or something. I can't remember for sure the other ones... but her sons girlfriend is obsessed with apostrophe's in names.

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  33. In my work I deal with a lot of adult names. I have taken pictures in case my friends thought I was mistaken. Here are my two favorites: Lady PeeWee Sanchez & Halloweena Coffen.
    I couldn't make this up if I wanted to, but then again we have an adult daughter named Rhyan.

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  34. Sadly I must admit that i know someone, my brother, who decided to give his daughter a VERY unique name,Kalixtze-Eris Ross23 (Kah-licks-Tee-Aries). All I know is that part of her middle name is after her grandfathers name which is not the 23 part. He has grown up on the East coast and has not been influenced by Utah and Idaho standards.

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  35. Unfortunately, my sister-in-law used Tytan. And if she has a daughter next she's going to name her Tossee (prounounced Tossy) YOU GUYS! I have to pretend I like these name! How do I do iiiiiiiiiiiit?

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  36. Nice catch on Sebastain. I hope that's a typo too.

    Point 3 is hilarious!

    Thanks for doing this; such a fun read.

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  37. These are pretty bad, but consider the following true story.

    Orem, Utah, 1978: One of my co-workers came in to work on a Monday morning and said, "You will never guess what happened in our Fast & Testimony meeting yesterday"--to which we could only reply, "You're right, we'll never guess, so go ahead and tell us."

    "A couple in our ward had triplets--three girls--and yesterday they were given their names and blessings."

    "So?"

    "Their names--the ones by which they shall be known upon the records of the Church and throughout their lives here on earth--are Candy, Cookie and Cupcake."

    So which would you rather be called: KeiseLyn or Cupcake?

    (Who knows? Maybe it was Kandee, Kookey and Kupkayk.)

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  38. I have to keep coming back to read all the comments. hilarious!! I just have to add that someone i know just named their adorable little girl Jaeger. not exactly sure how its pronounced yet. do I want to know??

    My sister in law also ran into someone named La-A (Ladasha) ya I'm serious.

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    Replies
    1. My in-laws had a German short-hair with the same name (Yay-ger) its German for hunter. Poor little girl.

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  39. Radzyn is the name of a castle in a fantasy series I really like. But you know, it's cool to make up strange names for your mythical fantasy castle, but not so much for your child.

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  40. My son has a classmate named Ici. Sounds like Icy, but what do you say when you read that? Exactly...Icky. Nice. But the worst I have ever ever ever heard is Natas. That's right - Satan backwards! (sounds like Not Us) WHO DOES THAT? It made me want to call DCFS. Seriously. Still does in fact.

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  41. AGREE with what every one has said for the most part, especially the monstrosity on the girls' heads, and boy names for girls.

    When I tell people what my child's name is they always give a sigh of relief that it is normal and that I spell it normal. There is nothing worse than a purposeful misspelled name. WHY? What is the point?

    I have noticed that people with normal names have always hated that everyone else has their name and pick the stupidest names for their children. But parents with names that are uncommon or weird pick normal names fro their kids. Why? They think that the grass is greener on the other side. At least normal names are easy to pronounce and to spell, a definite plus when in school.

    I was talking to a grandma once and she couldn't even remember the names of her grandkids because they were too weird. She knew the ones with normal names though.

    Thanks!

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  42. I knew a guy named Dwayne. His parents named his sisters Dweeva, Dwarva, and Dwova.

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  43. How come we always here from people who know L-a, but we never hear from L-a herself?

    Best believe if my name was L-a, I would OWN the internet.

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  44. I work with high school kids and get to see a lot of girls names on a daily basis. The worst name so far this year is: K-La, and I met her last week. I looked at her paper she handed to me and had to ask her twice if that was her "real" name. To which she replied, "yes!". Seriously? WTF parents? She will NEVER be taken seriously!

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  45. I have a friend who named their daughter Eowyn. Yes, an elf from Lord of the Rings. Pronounced A-O-win. Her parents swore they would never shorten it, but now she goes by Winnie. I honestly don't know which is worse. But my favorite was a student in a class I taught named Rowdy Times. Not a big surprise that he was a major trouble maker who was eventually pulled from school for attacking his mom with a hammer. True story.

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    Replies
    1. My husband and i nearly named our son gandolf, our last name is gray. Eowyn is a name we considered if he was a girl. Dont worry his name ended up being robert. But our wedding was in tolken elven so it didnt surprise anyone we looked at strange names. Infact when our bishop gave an audable sigh of releif that it wasnt strange.

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    2. Eowyn's not an elf. She's a human. Part of the royal family of Rohan. Yes I'm dweebing out right now. BUT, let's be honest, of ALL the fictional characters out there, there are worse ones you could name a child after. Not to mention that a lot of the names in LOTR are actually cobbled together from Old English.

      Ok geek fest over.

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    3. I'm pretty sure Eowyn and Arwen are like Nolwenn, or Bronwyn, real Gaelic names.

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  46. But, in my experience as a teacher it's the invasion of the apostrophes! And yes, these are real high school students of mine!
    Trey'vion
    La'tasha
    De'Kinae (pronounced dee-kin-nay)
    De'jenique (day-Ja-neek)
    Dat'reion

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  47. Hooray! I've been waiting for this list and you didn't disappoint! My daughter Rhyelle was listed first JUST like my daughter Taivry was last year! I'm SOOOO proud! Oh, and I LOVE the big flowers! I do them regularly! Every day if I can! What can I say, I LOVED playing with cabbage patch dolls as a kid and just want to pretend my daughter IS one. I MUST find where this mother got this one and add it to my insanely large collection! Right next to my crocheted owl hats! I will be sure to drop your name though when I go in and tell them what brought me to their fine establishment ....what was it again....Rachel....Meagan....Anne.....or geez....its so "normal" I just forgot.....dang.......sorry ;D


    P.S. I DID read your OTHER posts and we seem to share the same dark humor.....I actually find you quite witty and funny! Kuddo's to you! :) When my wounded pride allows (which won't be long) I will return. You crack me up.

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    1. You're the best, Marcie. Your good-natured comment on last year's post won Rhyelle the top of the list this year - it was no coincidence :)

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  48. Love the list. I guess it's not surprising that apostrophes have invaded names, because they have also invaded the plural form of words, as in apostrophe's. Yikes! It's becoming endemic!

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  49. I have a new niece named Nyxxann, pronounced Nixon...like our former impeached president. Oh my.

    --R.

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    Replies
    1. My oldest son's name is Nixon...spelled that way too, but it was after the Nixon Skate brand lol, not the president.

      Delete
  50. To Jennie Holt, Jaeger SHOULD be pronounced "Yay-grr." As in Jaeger bombs. As in that's more than likely what the parents were doing leading up to conception. Of course, if you live in the Utah-Idaho Mormon Basin (or Washington, D.C.), they'll probably insist it's pronounced "Zhai-geyhr" or similar.

    ReplyDelete
  51. My favorite was Paizli. Made me guffaw. :D

    ReplyDelete
  52. So many of these names sound like pharmaceuticals. "Ask your doctor if Zavan is for you..."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a genius! I work in Pharma and finding names is HARD! I will be checking the UT/ID baby names from now on!

      Delete
  53. Oh! I want to add another from my facebook feed:

    Jack.

    Adorable, right? I love Jack!

    But this family's name is Hammer.

    And yes, the mom often posts about what her "little Jack Hammer" is doing. OMG.

    ReplyDelete
  54. We know a couple who named their poor kid Axtinn
    I guess the name wasn't unusual enough, the had to add an extra "n" to the end of it. Poor little guy.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I can't wait until somebody decides to name their kid, "Czuch Norrus" Nobody would dare to question the pronunciation for fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This made me laugh out loud!! BAHAHAHA!

      Delete
    2. hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Funniest. comment. ever.

      Delete
    3. Seriously! LOL! I would think who DAT? every time they talked about dat'reion

      Delete
    4. L.O.L. that one was the best

      Delete
  56. Your blog post is turning up everywhere! Now the world will be waiting to see what you name your first-born someday. Maybe the US should start adopting naming laws like other countries have ... http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-lifestyles/10-illegal-baby-names-194006397-3.html

    ReplyDelete
  57. This is hilarious! Thank you for making me giggle today.

    ReplyDelete
  58. I do pictures of babies at two hospitals in Utah Valley and have heard some really unfortunate names. One of the most memorable was Maybe. Yep, that was the baby's name! No, they were not still deciding, and no, they weren't trying to keep it a secret, and no, I wasn't supposed to to figure out their strange little game of not telling the photographer their baby's name, HER NAME IS MAYBE. Oh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet they were Arrested Development fans and named her after Maeby Bluth.

      Delete
  59. Megan - I've long had a suspicion that half my Google Reader subscribers are angry Rexburg namers just waiting to pounce on my own naming choices, when the time comes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh, and a name I saw on facebook the other day was Tag Canyon. At first I thought I was supposed to tag a picture of a canyon, so I read on to see why, just to realize that it was that poor little adorable baby's name!

      Delete
  60. Oh man. I enjoyed this so much, especially since I'm getting ready to name my own baby and I'm realizing how much I love classic old-timey names that only have one spelling. (Yes, that's a little hipster, but I've accepted it.) But then, I have a brother named Treb (my dad's name backwards) and my mother in law gave all of her kids three names - two that were the names of grandpas or great-grandpas, and then the third name was what she actually called them. The result is that the perfectly normal name my husband goes by doesn't even appear on his driver's license. All anyone sees is Clovis Merle. Also, I've been following two different friends on facebook who named their children Kyler and Kaliona. Kaliona apparently goes by Kona most of the time.

    Poor cabbage-head baby. I'm going to stock up on nice small bows now so that if anyone gives me enormous ones I can just never quite get around to putting them on her.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I'm so grateful the baby I'm expecting is a girl, because my husband is convinced that Flint Ransom would be a fantastic name for a boy. I'm going to work on talking him out of that or pray for more girls.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I know a family with all of the following names in the under-3 set:
    (Yes, they're all related, cousins and second-cousins!)
    Morrison (boy), Pressley (boy), Hendrix (girl), Zykah (boy, rhymes with Micah), Axlynn (girl), and Marley (girl)
    Iroically, all of these babies' mothers have totally "regular/normal" names themselves... :-/

    ReplyDelete
  63. I first met Qac (zack) when he was 2- he is now 16 and has been spelling his name Zack for 4 years. And we have our very own Taylee in Ohio. I am the lucky one that gets to guess how to spell it each Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Ha! Oh dear. My sister's old roommate named her kid......wait for it......Addonijah. Yupp. She named him after the wicked king in the Bible who tried to usurp Solomon's throne. Twice. I can just see it now: "Mommy, why was I named Addonijah?" "Well dear, we wanted you to always remember that if you do wrong, you'll be put to death like Addonijah was." "Ooohhh."

    ReplyDelete
  65. My brother has two girls named Echo and Pesephone. We tried to shorten his youngest by calling her Sephie, but they call her by her full name. I told him that he has cursed his oldest into being a cheerleader by naming her Echo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did they really name her Pesephone, or do you mean Persephone? I know those are still kind of weird names, but since they're both figures in Greek mythology, at least there's some precedent.

      But if it's Pesephone, well, there's no excuse for that.

      Delete
    2. I actually have always loved the name Persephone...but I'm not sure I'd ever go so far as to give it to a child. But as has been pointed out, it IS a name from Greek mythology. So is Echo, actually.

      But thinking more about this, the stories of both Persephone and Echo had really sad endings, so....why?!

      Delete
    3. I win- I know of a little girl named Antigone... :o

      Always a good idea to know the connotations before naming your child.

      Delete
    4. Antigone? *facepalm*

      Clearly they don't expect her to live very long.

      Delete
    5. Good gosh, and Echo? There's a great role model for you. Passive much?

      Delete
  66. Poor children.

    But in defense of Tenley, that name has been around for a while - Tenley Albright was a famous figure skater born in 1935.

    I've got no defense for the rest of the mess.

    ReplyDelete
  67. My friend teaches first grade. There's a girl in her class, and I wish I was kidding, named Le-a. Pronounced, Ladasha, because according to her, "The dash ain't silent!" That poor, poor child!!

    ReplyDelete
  68. I'll believe the Le-a urban legend, repeated over and over (and over) in every discussion on names that's taken place in the past five years, when I personally hold her official birth certificate in my own hands.

    ReplyDelete
  69. My sister's son is named Kirye, pronounced ka-rye. She wonders why no one can ever pronounce his name, so they now call him Kai. My SIL has a nephew named Keric and a niece named Berlynn.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Guess you missed the talk from conference last weekend that talked about not being judgemental? I hope all the young people out there continue naming their children these wonderfully unique names, just to fuel the fire for all of you. I'm sure it makes you all realize how painfully ordinary our own names are. I hope my grandchildren are named something that won't blend into the crowd.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are not judging per se, but if we were it most certainly would be a justifiable case for said judgement. Just so you know, if I can't pronounce it on my copy of the transcript when you get to The Gates, I will be forced to pull the lever.

      Delete
    2. I'll take a painful, ordinary name anytime over some unspelled (for lack of a better word), bastardized (yes, I used that word correctly), meaningless name that was born of a desperate attempt to use all the Scrabble tiles.

      Having said that, we named our son John and we call him Jack. We've taken flak from grandparents who were adamant that no child should have a nickname but had no problem calling other grandchildren Taysie and Brodie.

      People are weird.
      (I believe you can look in the Second Book of Maccabees Chapter 666, verse 1 if you want Scriptural proof that people are weird.)

      Delete
    3. Yes, I cry myself to sleep every night over my painfully ordinary name- When I am not laughing my rear off at the awful things people in Southeastern Idaho think pass for clever names.

      Delete
    4. Please, please tell me "St Peter" is John....because he would be my hero. It sounds like something John would say.

      P.S. It has occurred to me that my child's name is on the different side, and could probably be categorized under "invasion of the y's" but I don't care--I love his name! I hope we can still be friends.

      Delete
  71. I worked at a pediatrician's office and heard some crazy names. Brothers Tug and Bear, Leanness (girl), and Gabbrreella. And this is in Washington.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Awesome stuff. I read every single comment. All I can think is that these kids will have to be adults with these crazy names. Can't you just see a resume for Paizli? I hope it's pink and scented.
    We gave our boys normal names with normal spellings (the kind that don't fall in the top 20, though). I will admit, though, that before our second was born, my husband briefly lobbied to name the poor little boy Ford. Uhh...if a boy name could be frumpy, I think Ford would be it.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Oh wow, it took a lot longer this year for THOSE people to start coming out of the woodwork. I'm loving the general conference reference. ZING!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Says the judgemental person with the boring, pronounceable name.
      Baeh Jumbuough (Pronounced: Bah Humbug)

      Totally kidding. I love the people who believe a reference to church doctrine is the answer to every topic of conversation and that further discourse is heresy.

      Delete
  74. Ok, so having grown up in Idaho Falls, going to college in Rexburg, and feeling the EXACT same amount of alarm, detestation, and apoloptic shock from the hideousness of names given to babies born in the north half of the valley, I have to tell you Jess....

    I freaking LOVE this post!!! Every single year I laugh just as hard, sometimes harder actually, at your commentary. It almost makes walking through the store, commenting to some young (and I'm sure well meaning) new mom what a cute baby she has and asking what the name is, worth the horror on her poor sweet little face when I start laughing at her.

    I super love hearing what you have to say about them. In fact, there have been many times where this has happened in a store, for example Dillards, and I instantly think, "Oh geez! I wonder if THAT little monstrosity made it onto Jess's list this year!" Hahaha. Oh my. :)

    ReplyDelete
  75. These hurt my eyes!!!! It's like everyone wants to raise a rock star!

    (I actually find a subversive glee in bad baby names: it will be easier for my boring-named kid to get a job. Especially in the medical field, engineering, or accounting!)

    Also, that bow must have been done ironically. Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Worst name I've seen this year: Auraleigh.

    Sound it out! That poor kid is named "Orally".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aura Lee is a quite a traditional name with a very famous song written after it. It should be pronounced to rhyme with Laura as in Awra, not to rhyme with Lora as in Ora. That aside, it's an atrocity that they combined the names and spelled leigh stupidly.

      Delete
  77. Love this list! Was going to ask if you were LDS but I read in your bio that you lived in Rexburg, ID and why would anyone non-LDS ever live in Rexburg, ID? Why would anyone every live in Rexburg, ID?

    ReplyDelete
  78. Ha! I'm more than certain I know that little Riggins' parents! I spent New Years Eve with them. They are VERY country and backwoods. The dad grew up in Menan and the mom in Rigby for crying out loud! I laughed pretty hard when I heard what they named him. Seriously, people need to run the names by me first. I thought I was being unique with Hadley, Avery, Lauren, and Gabe! Turns out, I'm pretty normal!!

    ReplyDelete
  79. I worked with a man named Beveridge. Which sounds exactly the same as "would you like a refreshing beverage?" I work for an insurance company, and while ordering an MVR (motor vehicle report - it's a person's driving record), came across the name Joylet. Seriously? Who says to themselves, "We should name our kid something that rhymes with toilet."

    ReplyDelete
  80. This is great!

    Later could you do a post on how every other blogger has a whimsical blog and tries to be rockstar diaries and a cup of jo, but fail miserably? i'm talking the poetry form writing... the instagram pictures... photo shoots of their lunch and outfits. Please. And why is every Utah/Idaho mom with a camera now a professional photographer?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The closest I've gotten to tackling the photography thing is this tweet:

      https://twitter.com/#!/jessiejensen/status/38630025741733888

      And I agree completely.

      Delete
    2. THANK YOU! It's not just UT/ID...I know lots of girls here in TX that do the same. **Sigh**

      Delete
  81. Ya...

    My sister named her son Durango. DURANGO!!! He is 9 years old and I am still cringing.

    My cousin named his son Stone. Middle name? Hart. That's right, Stone Hart. It's just mean.

    Then there's my great uncle Ferry. How that man has survived to his 80's as a Fairy, I'll never know.

    Hilarious stuff. Thanks for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  82. I know of a little girl named "Tyranny." I'm not sure how it is spelled. I really doubt the parents were aware of the meaning of the word.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Ahh! You have GOT to turn on your threaded comments feature so that we can reply to other people's comments! That's when it's fun. Someone dissed Henry as a name... lol. Cutest name ever! I've got to reply right to their comment! Any who, this was super funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Done! But in my experience, the embedded form doesn't always work that great. Feedback appreciated.

      Delete
  84. Here's a few more examples of ridiculous names. I went to elementary school with a girl whose name was Xtyllyn, pronounced Chris-till-lin. The X is supposed to be a "Chr" sound like in Xmas/Chrismas. Even in 2nd grade I could tell she was already sick of helping people interpret the spelling of her name.
    Another one: My friend was a high school teacher in Orlando, Florida. There were a set of twins whose names were pronounced "Or-an-gel-lo" and "Lem-on-gel-lo" or spelled Orangejello and Lemonjello. Yep. Orange Jello and Lemon Jello. I asked her if the kids teased them about their names and she said they mostly went by OJ and LJ so most kids didn't even know their real names...but also they were HUGE African-American football players so people knew not to mess with them.
    On a personal note, my name is Julianne which isn't that unusual but people have a really, really hard time spelling it. So while I love my name, I have always vowed to give my children easy-to-spell names. (Incidentally since Julianne Moore and Julianne Hough have become famous, I don't have as much trouble with my name as I did growing up.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My final word on the Orangejello/Lemonjello urban legend comes from the last paragraph in Eric Snider's "Nayme Gaimme" blog post:

      http://www.ericdsnider.com/snide/the-nayme-gaimme/

      Delete
  85. I know someone who had twin girls and named them.... Fredi and Devon two beautiful baby girls with awful boy names! I mean if we are going to name a girl a boy name, at least do something a little better than Fredi... Even Riley or Taylor would be a better boy name for a girl! Or better yet let's give them some cute girly names. But to each their own. I just hope they can find some cute nick names to call them...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sister of a friend recently named her two twin girls Carsen and Parker. Talk about naming cute girls the butchest boys names out there! They will forever be thought of as boys first! GAH!!!!

      Delete
  86. My husband has a cousin (last name Payne) who named her little girl....Abcyde (pronounced Ab-sidy or abs-cd). First, they were going to spell it Abcd just like the alphabet. But decided it needed a silent y and e. She has 2 middle names, the first Suri (pretty okay), and her second middle name is Iza, yes Iza (pronounced Is a). Let's say it all together Abcyde Suri Iza Payne. ABCD sure is a pain. Way to go mom and dad. Luckily everyone in the family calls her Ce-Ce.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is one heck of a mess. Even a very common accepted name like "Isa" (look at any Latin-based-language-speaking country, and it's all over the place) is messed up by spelling and with obnoxious other names. Oy vey.

      Delete
    2. My husband used to be a school teacher in Texas and he came across an Abcde as well. But by far the worst name he's seen as a teacher was Placenta! I honestly didn't believe him, but that was her legal name!

      Delete
  87. I see DangGina read the name Acelyn with a long "a" in mind with "Ace" as a likely nickname... My first mental reading of the name automatically assumed a short "a" like "Alison" and a MUCH worse shortened nickname.

    That people aren't sensible enough to avoid these hideous names is disturbing indeed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HAHA! I'm so glad I came back to read through more comments! Yes, the short "a" sound makes that name much, MUCH worse!

      Delete
  88. When living in Washington, DC, one of our favorite checkers at the grocery store was named S'Coya.

    Something that I don't get is when people pick common names and then spell them like they're from a different planet. For example, I know someone who named their boy Christopher James, but they spelled it Khrystofer Jaiymes. That poor kid is going to be spelling his name a million times over.

    This is seriously one of the best reads of the year. Thank you!!

    ReplyDelete
  89. Just thought of another name of an unfortunately-named child I know: Tresithany (tress-ITH-uh-knee). No way to really shorten that one...maybe Annie? That's a cute name. Tresithany's twin is called Sariah.

    ReplyDelete
  90. I went to school with a girl ziang, pronounced zee-on. I links unique names but sometimes the spelling is just ridiculous!

    ReplyDelete
  91. One of my relatives named her daughters (not twins) Nylah and Skylah. We live in the Boston area, so people will think Skylah is just Skyler with a Boston accent. But still...

    The worst name I've seen is someone I knew growing up who named her daughter Paprika.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I knew someone who named her kid Stockton Malone. Her husband was a huge fan. They're divorced now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People who name their kids Stockton have obviously never smelled that city. It is called Stock-town for a reason! Phew!

      Delete
    2. A relative named his kids Chamberlain (after Wilt...but she's a girl) and Stockton (after John). Both kids are amaaaaazing. But yeah, the parents are also divorced now.

      Delete
  93. A friend just named her baby boy Macsen. I still am not sure how to say that...

    ReplyDelete
  94. all of this is genius. i LOVE it so much!!! thanks for sharing!!

    ReplyDelete
  95. I teach a little girl named Ssence, pronouced essence. Ssence! :-( Poor darling kid.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Wow, you're my new favorite person. That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  97. I also know a Tierrany. Ew, what a horrible name. I can't believe more than one person has that name.

    Also know a girl named Jentrie.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I absolutely love your witty commentary on these major name faux pas. Couldn't help but write my own blog response to yours--well done!

    http://sntidwellfam.blogspot.com/2012/04/what-were-they-thinking.html

    ReplyDelete
  99. I love this! I am currently living in rexburg Idaho and I think I have heard all of these names being called out at the park or in church or the store. Too funny. And I thought I had it bad when kids called me "braille" (my name is Brielle....... Like Gabrielle without the ga is how I have introduced myself my whole life.) Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  100. One of my nieces is named "Rosealine." Her parents apparently wanted to make really, really sure that people pronounced it "rose-uh-line" instead of "rahs-uh-linn" (Rosaline). She was born in Provo, but mom and dad did go to BYU-I.

    My husband grabbed an audiobook by a woman named Aprilynne Pike. I immediately said, "Yeah, that woman is Mormon, probably from Utah or Idaho." And I was right.

    ReplyDelete
  101. I want to know what your favorite girl and boy names were! If there even were gems hidden in all that rubbish...
    my name to add to the list. well, two actually.
    aniston. I've heard this more than once! and
    paiyten. my brain seriously stumbles over that many vowels in a row. eeee.

    ReplyDelete
  102. I can't get over Kaimen. Does that rhyme with hymen? Or is it simply a reference to a small crocodile?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can almost hear the sound baby alligators make every time I see it.

      Delete
  103. I have another - a girl at my son's school is named Aleka - which is pronounced as it appears - it gets funny when you hear her middle name - Zam. So she is Aleka Zam.

    ReplyDelete
  104. On the facebook stalker feed I just saw one of my fb friends tagged in a picture with her friend L'Aura (both from Utah). Yeah. That's right. Instead of just choosing something slightly unusual for the 1980s, her parents just chose one of the most common names and added in an apostrophe to make it unique...and completely strange. I have so many questions...is it pronounced La-Ora? Or Lora? Or LAR-uh? Or La-Ara?

    ReplyDelete
  105. Dace. Seriously. OMG.

    ReplyDelete
  106. My sister in law is going to name her little girl Kindra! I also have a cousin who named her little girls the following...Hazy Pink, Queeny Colleen, and Spree. Poor kids!

    ReplyDelete
  107. Immediately after I commented on this article before I went to facebook, only to see that an old friend had had her baby and named her Vitasha. Oy vey.

    ReplyDelete
  108. I once had a library patron whose name I needed to put on a list, so I asked for it. Instead of saying his name, he handed me his library card. And his name was Pee Jay. Pee? Nice one, mom and dad.

    ReplyDelete
  109. I gave all my kinds nice, easy to spell first names and then middle names that were more unusual and attached to their Father's preference. So, I have:
    Joshua Vasudev (vas-oo-dave)
    Sarah Jayshree ( just sound it out)
    Kathleen Sona (sonar without the r)
    And my youngest;
    Madeline Sariah

    My first husband was from India so their middle names are family names on his side of the family. Their first names all came from at least one of my answers. In my youngest's case she got my middle name as her first, and a name her dad (my second husband) was really drawn to when he was studying the gospel before he joined the church.

    I had always wanted to give my children family names, and since my mom and stepdad are both teachers, and my ex-husband was a nurse, I knew that first names that were simple would be appreciated by both my children and their teachers.

    To stand on my soap box for just a moment: I would much rather have children who are know for who they are, what they stand for and what the do in life, not what creative/strange name I gave them at birth.

    So, that is my two cents, or maybe this is long enough to be a nickel by now. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  110. I LOVE this! Written so well :) I teach in public schools. There's always that uncomfortable moment on the first day of school during roll call when you try your very best to pronounce the list of names in front of you....usually to be corrected by little kids several times. I just think, that's ok kid, it's not YOUR fault that you're named that way...

    ReplyDelete
  111. Qelvin, Xoey, Xavery, and their last name starts with a Z. No one will mistake their initials.

    ReplyDelete
  112. I teach and have two boys named Zebulon. They both go by Zeb. I also have an issue with students going by their middle names; if you wanted to call them that why isn't it the first name? The only answer I can come up with is a grandpa or family member who wanted their name first, but the parents did not want to call them that. The biggest naming legend I have heard is a brother and sister with the first names Harry and Ima; their last name is Dick. I had a friend in school whose Mother swore she went to school with these children, which if that's the truth I hope they have had a happy life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zebulon is a Bible name though...therefore semi normal. Also...Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

      Delete
    2. Sometimes parents give the child their ancestor's name, and then to avoid confusion, call the child by a middle or nickname.

      Delete
    3. Sometimes the order of names is chosen for better poetic rhythm or sometimes to avoid the initials spelling out something awful. Still, it can be confusing. My dad went by his middle name. Whenever we got a phone call asking for his first name we knew it was a telemarketer - easy to avoid! :)

      Delete
  113. This is fantastic. I don't know you, but I love this post every year. My daughter's name is Catherine and it was spelled wrong at her pediatrician's office (with a K). I asked if they could please change it, all the while apologizing for using the less common spelling, explaining that Catherine is a family name, etc. and the office person said, "Oh, that is no big deal! We'll change it right away! You should see the kids we have here--Cannon Ball and Hunter Gunn and sisters named Beaudacious and Lovely. Catherine with a 'C' is not a big deal." That was, of course, while we lived in Salt Lake City.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Oh, I just remembered another one! I once heard a mom calling after her daughter in a Target in Utah, "Gratitude! Gratitude, come here!" Oh boy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I worked in a Utah Target and there's a mother who shops there regularly with her son... Batman. Yup. I thought I'd misheard her the first time I overheard her reining her rambunctuous toddler back to the aisle, or thought perhaps she was indulging him in some way for the day (like the little girls who come into the store dressed in Disney princess outfits), but I distinctly heard her a second time, a few weeks later.

      Delete
  115. Two stories.

    First, I used to work for a long-distance ed program and we had a student...last name Walker. First and middle? Luke Skye.

    Second, my cousin set my brother up with a girl named Vilate. Normal right? An antiquated spelling of Violet, probably named after Vilate Kimball or something. Well, you're wrong. It wasn't normal, apparently her parents had no idea what they were doing and decided it should be pronounced vih-lott-ee. What in the world parents who can't read?!

    ReplyDelete
  116. Only in Utah...........http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.383954954971830.94676.273013896065937&type=3

    There is a Sighlee for Gods sake and thats not all, Ryot, Mikali, and some other weird shit

    ReplyDelete
  117. My brother lived in Georgia for a little while and met someone named Abcde.
    Pronounced "Ab-si-dee".
    yep.

    ReplyDelete
  118. My sister in law (in Florida) had a student named Sh#%head pronounced "shih theeeed". sad. so sad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm calling urban legend! Everyone knows someone who knows a teacher who had a sh@t-head.

      Delete
  119. Must add my two cents: I know of a Legend, and someone I know is planning to name their baby boy Bear. I'm also familiar with a Eunique and a Myracle. My supervisor says if you ever see Jaymz or some other ridiculous spelling, you always know the parents have used meth at some point.
    Oh, and Shithead is an old wive's tale. Everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who is related to someone with that name.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Why do you all care what others name their children? Maybe they wouldn't like who you married, what you wore, where you shop or maybe that you are so concerned with other parents rights to name their children. Personally I like unusual names, but if I didn't, I still would not criticize others for choosing something unique. Seriously, how many Brittanys or Nicholases can we have? And isn't the love a parent gives their child much more important than the name?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we have enough Brittanys and Nicholases. What we need is more more Bhrithanis and N'Ickhuoluses!

      Delete
  121. I work in a school, and I'd like to add my two favorite first names:

    Mister
    Sexangary

    ReplyDelete
  122. There is a girl in our primary named Ceruh (yes, that's pronounced Sarah).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is the point of having a common name spelled uncommonly? You are still one of 5 other Sarahs in primary?!?

      Delete
  123. This trend of weird names is not limited to Utah and Idaho and is not limited to the LDS community either. What about the famous people or those that think they are famous.....remember when "Apple" was just a fruit and not a name.
    I hate when people name their sweet babies a "cute" name. Do these patents not realize that their child will grow up and be an adult!!! Do your children the biggest favor of their lives, name them a name that brings respect. When they go to apply for that first real job out of college your children will praise you forever when they are hired and others are turned or away because no one will take the woman or man seriously with a "so cute" name of a little girl or boy.
    BTW....worst name ever given to a baby boy while I worked in NBICU..... Slayer.

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  124. This. Is.....there are too many fabulous adjectives to choose from. Seriously, hilarious. One stupid one that keeps popping up around here in Utah County is: "La-a". That's "Ladasha". No, I'm not kidding. She was in my friend's 2nd grade class a few years ago. I can't take it. This is HYSTERICAL. I'm gonna start telling people I'm waiting to have children until names like "Joseph" and "Catherine" are new and exciting. I just can't get on board with this weird fixation. Oh, and the baby-head flower/satellite dishes had me rolling. What the hell is up with that?!

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  125. One of the guys that I graduated with named his first daughter Harley and their last name is Davidson. I don't remember what they gave her for a middle name.

    My sister isn't much better, she gave her first daughter her middle name of Ranel, then she has a Rychael (Michael with an "R"), Reagan (girl) and their youngest Rulon.

    My SIL named her kids so that all of their initials would spell a word. DAY, SKY, KAY, AMY

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  126. I hate Nevaeh. And the freakin people that name their kids this are always so quick to say, "its heaven backwards." well, I don't know about you, but to me heaven backwards is, well, Hell!

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  127. I used to work for a homeschooling business office and consequently saw children's names (on their school records) all day long. There were some doozies. I think my favorite doozie was "Thaddeus Creek Sweeney". His file was thicker than my thumb is wide, too, and you wonder how the parents could be surprised at that!

    My name is Allison and people constantly ask me how to spell it. When I was born (1982) there were only 2 ways to spell Allison: 1 "L" or 2. Now there are about half a dozen ways to spell it. I named my daughter Olivia Paige. The next kid will have a nice, NORMAL name too! :)

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  128. Love this! In my years as a teacher here are the most unique names I have encountered, and no, I am NOT kidding! I live in Texas, by the way: Million Dollar, Dreaming and Driving( twins, boy and girl), USA( they called him United), Sexi, Shi'thead (pronounced shitheed, but look at the spelling without the apostrophe!), and the winner...V...that's right, the letter V- but called him Five...get it? The letter V is the Roman numeral five? By the way, if this makes any difference, these were all children at a low income school, and most of these kids had teenage mom's- just saying...

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