NAMES 2010!

On Wednesday, I met my parents on St Maarten. It was fantastic, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about, is it? I only bring it up now because my mom hand-delivered me this year’s baby names newspaper insert! On an island in the Caribbean that they cruised to, that’s next to the one I live on! My life is weird.

To those who are new to the blog, there’s a town called Rexburg, Idaho. I used to live there, and my parents still do. Rexburgites give their children the most horrible names (it’s a Utah/Idaho thing, as many of you already know). Each year at the end of March, the newspaper prints an insert showing off all the children that were born the previous year in the Madison Memorial Hospital, or at least the ones whose parents love them enough to pay the thirty dollars for the ad, and I look forward to it more than is probably healthy. This is my fourth year of posting the best of the worst to my blog for your entertainment. (See previous installments here, here, and here).

Let’s kick things off with the ever-popular Mix-N-Match category. Put a variety of first syllable options in one jar (the more Y’s the better!), and second syllable options in another jar, then pick two, stick them together, and name your kid that. Come on….everyone else is doing it:

Taivry
Zayden
Tamsyn (See comments)
Brailee
Emree
Tinley
Brenly
Treyton
Draidyn
Taysom
Maely
Breklyn
Tayzlee
And SEVEN Brinley/Brinlee/Brynlee/BrynLees

Next, the Sound-it-Outs. Phonetic spelling at its worst:

Autum
Trinidy
Kenadi
Jesee (shudder)
Cassydi
Addee
Dakoda
Madysin
Paityn (there were two of these, with this same spelling, ON THE SAME PAGE. How is that even possible?)
Rhyley

Invasion of the K's:
Kaibree
Kinzlee
Kysen
Kaislyn
Kaycen
Kynlee
Khloe (THERE WERE THREEEEE! One was 'Khloe Jazzlene')
Kasen
Kaelee
Kaydence
Kaydee
Kyler

Kooper (two!)

He's going to be a cowboy whether he wants to or not:
Blake Stetson

Possible misspelling of a branch of the military:
Amry

Possible tribute to an alma mater:
Devry

His mom's a 'Bachelor' fan:
Kipton

the "What the EFF???'s"
Qwayde
Klair
Blyss
Naveyah
Ledger
Vestal
Chyloh (I honestly stared at this for five seconds before realizing it’s supposed to be like Shiloh…I think?)
Treygon (2!)
Ridge
Payzlee
Lyrik
Riggin
Kham K (??)

Aaaaand the Worst Name of All:
Deizel. DEIZEL. A type of gasoline, misspelled in more than one way, only one of which I believe was intentional.

Discussion:

Point 1: I felt that there were less – key word LESS - totally wacko names this year (anyone remember poor little Crymson Rayne? Or Triton Duke?), or maybe I’m just becoming desensitized. But it seemed to me like some of those sorts of names were replaced by more K names, more Braxtens, more Eastons, more Oakleys, and more Rykers. I didn’t include these in my lists because they are names that have been in previous installments that I’ve already discussed and have come to expect. There was, however, a RyKer. Didn’t expect that.

Point 2: A note on that Naveyah. The AWFUL name “Nevaeh” (‘heaven’ spelled backward) has been gaining popularity for the past few years, and to take an already made-up name then misspell it seems like a sin.

Point 3: While perusing this year’s announcements (particularly when I ran across TWO Treygons, a name that cropped up two years ago), I made the realization that there MUST be expecting parents in Rexburg sorting through these names for a very different reason – IDEAS (or ‘idizz’, as they would say it). Which just doesn’t seem right. If you’re going to give your kid a made-up name, you can’t just use someone ELSE’S made-up name!! That’s like DOUBLE cheating!

kxthbai