Texts out of Context: Episode XI

It's long past time for new texts! This is only HALF. More tomorrow.
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A girl sitting next to me just plugged her ear as I ate an apple! Am I THAT loud?!?!

He was naming them and telling me their personality traits. Roxie landed on my head.

Dumps like a truck truck truck guys like what what what the hell was in that dentastix

Girl snow or boy snow

 

These are weird sentences I’m writing.

Go get some cream and call it a night

Are you watching the puppy bowl?

I am eating samples at sams club I have a problem

New fave: I’m Alive. It’s an Animal Planet show. Even better than I Shouldn’t Be Alive because it’s all animal attacks. Just don’t watch the one with chimps.

Steve puts it in his mouth! As long as you move it around fast enough it won’t hurt.

Holy crap bag sandwich annie sent us a shload of food

I saw a young guy dressed up as an old woman on my street corner this afternoon. Complete with walker.

Don’t forget the ham

Gross I ate one and almost got a brain malfunction

is there yogue

Ok. Nothing else mean tonight. I’m way over my quota. Probably for a lifetime. Going to bed.

WHAT?!?!?!?! When/how did this happen? And on a related note, how did you find out? Was it your aunt’s connection to the MoTab underground?

Hello mister gooch

There’s a new Reba sitcom. Malibu Country. I think you should check it out.

Ada was in tears this morning because she wanted her boobies to be big. “I don’t want wittle ones!!”

Just invented the word duhfcourse (duh + of course). Please spread it like wildfire.

We are at the pet store and I pointed out the goldfish. She says, “I like goldfish. I like to eat them.” Also—the mice are “happy to see me.”

Did you eat a gum drop cuz I did

Yeah it’s the scraping that gets me.

Ada: “my crotch has a face.” No idea on that one.

You should buy me something real nice.

Oh. And in the tire store I overheard a girl say she heard the government is hiding the fact that there is a planet behind the sun on a collision course with earth. And that some famous guy with a blonde ponytail was on TV saying they wouldn’t let him in to Area 51 and that they control the weather and caused the tsunami.

The teacher that substituted steve’s class while he was gone wrote “all hear” on the attendance sheet.