BEST HOUR OF MY WEEK

I URGE YOU to watch the PBS program "Ferrets: The Pursuit of Excellence."  CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS IMMEDIATELY. Basically, there's a such thing as ferret shows, and the people that own show ferrets are ten kinds of crazy. Of course, the program passes no judgment toward the ferret owners. There is no behind-the-scenes footage of cameramen biting their fists to keep from laughing. No horror music plays when the owners are revealing tiny urns and wall-covering shrines (though there was an awesome trumpet fanfare thrown in just before the Best in Show winner was announced). No. Just pure facts, take them how you may.

And I loved every second. Grinned the entire time, just happy to be spending my Saturday night listening to all eight verses of Barb's original song "Ferret, oh Ferret," each punctuated by the chorus

Ferret, oh Ferret, gatherer of stuff,

Ferret, my Ferret, when will you have enough?

But my favorite moment of the entire program was, obviously, the scene at the Buckeye Bash ferret show. Cut to an image of one of our owners with a gory wound on her nose. She admits, "I should have known to not hold a strange ferret up to my face--" [camera pans to her blood-spattered vest] "--I had no idea noses could bleed this much."

You are so very welcome.