Texting, Episode V

I know, I know, I should be updating about our trip to Canada and all considering I've been home since Sunday, but Jon stayed a couple of extra days and he's got the camera, so you'll just have to deal with another one of THESE in the meantime.

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So [my husband's] coworker saw a cat in a Baby Bjorn. And it's the best thing I've ever heard. Ever.

Just had a kosher eggroll with pastrami in it. Pastrami! Do you see what I have to deal with??

[My baby] eats the toilet paper roll so I put it on the sink out of reach. ...Sure wish I could reach the toilet paper right about now :/

Majorly freaking out. We found a bedbug in our living room last night. I cannot deal with those again.

And no picture. She was right up against the placenta, licking it.

Ya that's gay. And it turns out I'm retarded.

We are at the most ghetto Mexican diner right now. I'm going to get swine flu just being here.

[My husband] just stalked/followed me around the house imitating Scott the blind guy from Idol. His eyes and mouth lolling. We're gonna burn...oh no.

Really nice. A weird cat lady in shlubby clothes. Cats on her license plate, etc. She's hardcore.

Stop counting fat kids already.

I saw a Boston terrier at the pet store today and almost wanted to buy it/steal it in my bra.

Are you using your AOL email account now? Check out what I just sent you. The baby to the far right and then the same one a few pics down. I can't stop laughing.

[two minutes later] Seriously. Cannot stop.

[seven minutes later] I feel bad now. Apparently he was a miracle baby. I'm going to hell.