sloppy seconds

Can it be tomorrow already? I can't wait any longer for the SALT LAKE CITY BABY SHOWER WEEKEND EXTRAVAGANZA. Moms and sisters all over the place for three solid days. Just kidding, two solid days, and half of Sunday. And part of tomorrow. And only one mom. Since I land at 7 tomorrow evening, I'm imagining I can easily have Cafe Rio in my belly by 8. The sooner the better.

Please note our mousepad in the unrelated picture above. It's for some drug called "prometrium" and I'm assuming Jon got it at a medical trade show. To be completely honest, this was the first time I've noticed it. Sitting here looking through old pictures and all of a sudden WAITASEC, is that really our mousepad?!?? wth?? A panicked glance from the screen to the desktop confirmed that yes, I have indeed been rolling my mouse over the image of an old woman wrapped in a blanket for the past year (at LEAST). Unreal. Jon got some hilarious things at those trade shows. I'm kicking myself for not taking a picture of the highlighter, cleverly masquerading as a tube of vaginal cream, before I gave it to Annie for Christmas. She wasn't expecting THAT when she eagerly dumped out her stocking onto the floor...

Anyway, I'm off for the weekend! Pictures when I get back!

turtle soup

Today was “Max-Out-Our-Benefits-Before-We-Move-to-the-Caribbean” day. I just got back from an eye exam (does anyone else get nauseated when the eye doctor shines all those horrifically bright lights right into your eyeball? No? No one? No one but me? I’m the only one? Really?), and Jon had his second round of dental work since last Tuesday done this morning. He’s looking forward to yet another Jello dinner. Maybe I'll even heat him up a can of Campbell's. We'll see about it.

I have exactly eight weeks of work left before our Summer Vacation Extravaganza so the countdown has begun. If you think that I haven’t already started making lists of things to do while we’re in Utah/Idaho/Alberta/NYC, then YOU DON’T KNOW ME AT ALL. I make lists. It’s what I do. Is it bad that almost all of the things I’ve ‘planned’ so far are just names of restaurants?

This weekend was lovely and full of accomplishments. In addition to the usual laundry and cleaning, we actually started going through our belongings and packing things up. Everything we’re sending to the island has to be at a depot in Miami by the beginning of July, which means we’ve got to mail it there by mid-June at the very latest. The school arranges for everything to be shipped as freight from there for cheap, which is really nice because the alternative is taking everything with us on our flight. Not the best option considering we’ll be spending a few days at my sister’s apartment in New York City on our way there.

On Friday, my office got together for a little bit of bowling. I hadn’t bowled since the last time my work paid for it, over 2 years ago. Me and bowling don’t get along. I managed to score a 68 both rounds, though – is there a prize for consistency?

Jon dubbed this move “The Crane”. One step up from when my dad nicknamed me “Stork”, which may or may not have been the result of 14-year-old me “storking around” in a wave pool. The water was a 18 inches deep where I was and it was easier to lift my feet completely out of the water than walk normally. When I was 14 my body was 80% legs, I weighed 90 pounds, and I was a foot taller than my two sisters combined. I didn’t think anyone was watching me. I was wrong.

On Sunday we went to Agua Caliente Park to feed the ducks, which quickly turned into feeding the turtles. As soon as we started throwing bread, little turtle heads popped up all across the lake. Within two minutes, they were swarming the shoreline. At one point we counted fifteen of them within a few feet of us. ADORABLE. I want a pond. Pictures:

Jon looking up at the massive palm trees. He’s been wearing his Keens for a couple of weeks now. Something to do with not wanting to show up to the first day of school wearing shiny new shoes.

[Being fancy with the camera settings.]

Ew, big ugly lizard with no tail.

On being nerd-tastic

When I left for work this morning, there was a text on my phone from my sister Annie, wondering if she was the only one who thinks the new Captain Kirk is “ridiculously hot”. While I’ll agree that Chris Pine is an attractive guy, Zachary Quinto definitely takes the cake for me. You know, minus the ears, minus the short man-bangs, Spock has sort of got it going on. Anyway, after a little bit of arguing back and forth (Annie insisted that liking Spock is equivalent to liking Data), I decided to ask Corinne to settle it. Here was her reply (via text):

“[Spock] is way hotter!! He has such an interesting face. I don’t like Kirk at all. And it’s nothing like Data. At least Spock is half human. K…that’s the dorkiest thing I’ll say all day.”

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Completely unrelated: Ever since I installed Google Analytics to my blog, which tells me how many people are visiting and from where, I’ve noticed unusual activity coming from Addison, Texas. I don’t know anyone in Addison, Texas, which is why I was always suspicious that an Addisonian visits my blog about 5 times a day on average. And sometimes more. It used to bug me at first, and I got really careful with revealing anything to do with location, just to be on the safe side. Well, let me tell you, yesterday I made a shocking discovery. At about 1:30, it became important for me to review Baskin-Robbins’ complete ice cream flavor list. So I typed “Baskin-Robbins” into Google, and there, at the very top of the results page, was a map displaying all their stores near …Addison, Texas. A link to the right gave me the option to change my location. It was then that I came to the realization that my work internet often runs through a certain Addison, Texas, so as it turns out, the mystery person IS ME!!!!!!

I’m the lamest person I know.

your mom

Here's a post for all the mothers that read my blog. My sister Annie passed this story on to me about a year ago - we have no idea who wrote it or where it came from, but it's FANTASTIC. Enjoy.


A Mother's Day Story

So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat, and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on a mat in our bathroom.

Well, we have 3 kids, and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves Chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my Chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my Chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to, but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush trying to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car, and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere, and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my Chapstick VERY carefully to Jack's ... rear end.

Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped."

And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your Chapstick on the cat's butt.

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Happy Mother's Day!!!

Hooray!

First things first: WE’VE MADE OUR DECISION. Jon paid the deposit yesterday to secure his seat in the fall semester at the University of St. Eustatius School of Medicine, on St. Eustatius, Netherlands Antilles. SO excited! They have some of the best clinical rotation options out of all the Caribbean schools, and a really high residency match rate. And I’m in love with the island. It’s tiny (3,000 people, 8 square miles) and charming. Lots of history, renowned for its friendly people, blah blah blah. They have almost zero crime and a low cost of living compared to the larger, tourism-driven islands. But most importantly, we just feel good about it.

Lately for work, I’ve spent a couple of mornings standing in front of local elementary schools, clipboard in hand, counting pedestrians. This morning shortly after the bell rang, a woman came over the intercom and asked (twice) if a Mrs. Gonad would please call the front office. And I inwardly screamed “THERE IS NO WAY SHE JUST SAID GONAD!”, but sure enough, a coworker had heard it, too. My ears were not playing tricks on me. The only other notable thing that happened was this: a 200 year old hunchbacked crone going negative miles-per-hour glowered out of her car window at me for the entire 45 seconds it took her to pass by. I guess I looked SO suspicious, standing there in my skinny jeans and ballet flats, holding a clipboard. I resisted the urge to send a truly grotesque face her way. She’s lucky. I’ve got an arsenal of them. She would have gently bumped into the curb for sure.




THERE IS NO WAY IT’S MAY ALREADY. Plans for this month: Packing, starting immigration paperwork, and a girl’s trip to Utah for Corinne’s baby shower. She’s pregnant! Have I mentioned that? Because she is. She’s my sister, and she’s pregnant. With a girl.