The Most. Ridiculous. Cake. Ever!

My dad turned 45 when we were living in Gardnerville, Nevada. My mom would always take special orders for cakes and meals for birthdays, so my dad requested a chocolate cake with EXTRA frosting. He and my sister are nuts about frosting. Annie refused to leave for college before learning how to make homemade icing, and now she routinely makes up an entire batch JUST to sit and eat it plain, with a spoon, over the course of a couple of days. And my dad is almost as crazy. So my mom makes up the two cakes and loads a thick layer of icing in between before coating the outsides with it, too. Then she leaves it to set for a while and when she came back, she discovered that the entire top cake had slid about two inches to the side, thanks to the copious amounts of icing. And by that time, the frosting had set, so there was nothing she could do about it.

Well, my sister Annie and I thought it would be cool, since it was his 45th, to make a “45” on the cake out of 45 candles. So we counted them out and placed them meticulously into this lopsided cake, and we thought we were so clever and such good artists, and we were so proud of ourselves.

So here’s this cake sitting on the table just waiting for my dad to come home from work. Everything is in place for his special-order dinner and we’re watching TV when my mom starts screaming. By the time my sisters and I made it to the kitchen, there was our (literally) retarded cat, Boo, in the process of cleaning her whiskers after being chased away from a delicious meal of chocolate cake.

So by now this poor cake was completely ridiculous, but it was way too late to make a new one, so my mom scraped off the section that had been eaten and smeared more frosting over the hole (ew).

This time we’re smarter, so we cover the whole thing with a large overturned glass bowl until The General returns from work. When it’s finally the moment to bring out the glorious cake, I head into the kitchen to reveal our work of art. Well, in the process of removing the glass bowl from the ridiculous cake, I lost my grip and dropped the thing hard, so the edge of the bowl made a HUGE half-circle dent across the surface of the cake (the part unaffected by the retarded cat, mind you).

I can't quite remember my dad's reaction when he finally saw the stupid thing, but I'm sure he wasn't as amused as us...not mad or anything.. he was probably a little disappointed. I would have been. This cake was pathetic. Regardless, my mom and sisters and I are all totally cracking up as we relate to my dad the stories of why his poor cake ended up being so ugly when my mom starts lighting the candles. 45 candles, to be exact. All in close proximity to each other. Each of the individual flames melded into one BIG flame, and the candles started melting so rapidly that he barely had the chance to even make a wish before we brought out the fire hose. Okay, not really, that was definitely an exaggeration. But it was a pretty good bonfire we had going on.

And THAT is the story of the most ridiculous birthday cake in the world. I dare you to come up with a story about a more accident-prone dessert.